Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Child (USA, 1977)




This late-career Harry Novak release, The Child – aka Zombie Child, Children of the Night and Kill and Go Hide – is an odd find indeed. A super-low-budget film – according to popular (and most likely true) legend, it was shot on short ends (that is, re-canned film stock leftover from other productions) – the film features a cast and crews of total unknowns, most of whom seem to lack any ability of note. For a film produced in the US with a fully US crew, the film has a surreally Italian feel: one could easily imagine that some Italotrash master – Bruno Mattei, for example – made it while on vacation in California, for it shares the unbelievably lousy post-dubbing, notably bad acting, inanely elliptical plot development and overall shoddy production common to so many of the Italo-trash horror films that were foisted upon the unsuspecting public as "American" productions during the Golden Age of Grindhouse. But no, The Child is a 100% Californian independent film by an American director – Robert Voskanian – who, like most people involved in the project, has never made another feature film since. (Scriptwriter Ralph Lucas, however, did supply the screenplay to Planet of Dinosaurs [trailer] the same year that he wrote The Child.)
On the University of Chicago website, the film is referred to as "a sublime Gothic classic." The terms "sublime," "Gothic" and "classic" are all extremely malleable and, actually, not necessarily wrong when talking about the film. Not only does narrative follow the traditional Gothic concept of a single woman without family who goes somewhere remote to tend the child of a family with a secret, but the film as a whole is sublimely bad and thus, likewise, is a true if under-appreciated classic of bad film.
But to say the last doesn't mean that the film has no redeeming qualities – some redeeming aspects of The Child are the noteworthy beauty of the lead actress, Laurel Barnett, and the transcendental surrealism that infuses more than one scene and some of the dialogue – it just means that the film needs to be taken with a huge grain of salt to be appreciated. Of course, it is possible that less salt is needed the better the quality of the film transfer; the quality of the DVD we viewed was wretchedly dark and murky, thus castrating the concept of "cinematography." But while a better transfer might make the film more visually pleasant, it won't improve the acting, and that is what perhaps does the film the most damage.
The Child, which seems to be set around 1940 in the middle of rural Buttfuck Nowhere, has a streamlined if somewhat schizophrenic and bizarre plot. A young woman named Alicianne (Laurel Barnett*) returns to the rural region of her birth to become the live-in housekeeper of an unpleasant, widowed farmer (Frank Janson) who lives with his mostly silent adult son Len (Richard Hanners) and his obnoxious pre-pubescent daughter Rosalie (Rosalie Cole). Rosalie is an anti-social loner with telekinetic powers whose only friends are the zombies inhabiting the nearby graveyard where her mother is buried; when the zombies aren't out and about eating animals in the woods, they do the bidding of their young friend and violently mutilate and kill those she feels are responsible for the death of her mother. This includes the slightly batty neighbor Mrs. Whitfield (Ruth Ballan), the thieving Asian gardener (Slosson Bing Jong) – whose presence would indicate that WW II had not yet started or was long over – and, eventually, her own father. Alicianne and Len try to escape, but end up trapped inside a nearby mill where Len valiantly tries to fend off the killer zombies as Alicianne collapses into a screeching, quivering and totally helpless mess...
Though the zombies are always lurking in the background throughout the whole movie, the first half definitely has a more supernatural and threatening feel, while the second half flips into 100% pure zombies on attack. Thus, the last half of the film definitely brings to mind the much more successful classic Night of the Living Dead (1968 / trailer / full film), which works in every way that The Child fails. To put it simply, Night is a good and scary film; The Child is not.
Although a roadkill of a movie lacking even one real scare, in the end The Child is also relatively difficult to totally hate for, as big of a fuck-up as the movie is, it is not entirely unredeeming: unfailingly grim, it also often achieves an unusually unreal otherworldliness and, as mentioned before, is likewise interspersed with some truly leftfield, totally bonker interludes, scenes and dialog that are undeniably memorable. The soundtrack "music", by computer-game music composer Rob Wallace, is likewise from outer space: it alternates between a relatively routine piano score and an excessively grating, atonal moog-dominated aural attack that brings to mind the worst of the "computer music" LPs once so prevalent in undiscerning, low-grade thrift shops.
The Child – another bizarre, bad film that should have been better than it is while simultaneously actually being better than it is. Fans of early gore – as in: no CGI – will definitely find the film satisfying, as will purveyors of cinema obscura. Everyone else might be well advised to watch something else... like the original Night of the Living Dead, perhaps.

*Laurel Barnett, by the way, contributed a piece on her experiences while filming The Child to the book Gods in Polyester, or, A Survivor's Account of 70s Cinema Obscura (Succubus Press / 2004). What she said, we know not, but it would surely be interesting to read...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Locals (New Zealand, 2003)




We went into this unknown Kiwi flick with less than high expectations, assuming that it would simply be yet another body-count movie but populated by folks with nice accents. Soon enough, we came to think that it might instead be yet another low budget, community-of-backwood-psychos film ala 2008's Australian Dying Bread (trailer), which is populated by fewer nice accents... But somewhere along the way, we suddenly found ourselves no longer trying to second-guess the film's intentions and, instead, simply got lost in a relatively modest but clever (if flawed) and surprisingly well-made horror movie. True, an astute viewer can predict most of the twists in advance – especially if they have an eye for skin tone – but The Locals nevertheless manages to keep the viewer perched tensely in interest all the way to its memorable ending. Odd that the film is, to date, the only feature film of music video and commercial director Greg Page, who also wrote the script. (M. Night Shyamalan, for example, has managed to make a viable if no-longer-respected career out of making far more expensive and indefinitely worse "surprise ending" films.)
The Locals opens with a beautifully done aerial shot that glides across the fertile, green farmlands of rural New Zealand, inter-spaced with occasional shots of deserted, forlorn houses and the rusty carcasses of cars and machinery. Then a tractor rolls up to the edge of a wood and an armed man disembarks to begin digging up an unmarked grave, but before he can finish he is knifed from behind and falls dead in the shallow hole he has dug. After this rather eye-catching opening, The Locals moves to Auckland to introduce its two male leads, Grant (John Barker) and Paul (Dwayne Cameron) – and between the two, it's pretty easy to guess who the "Final Guy" will be.
Grant has been dumped by his squeeze for not like The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003), and Paul manages to convince him to leave for a shared weekend of surfing somewhere on the Waikato Coast. At this point, the film almost begins to drag, but the interlude is needed to establish the depth of their friendship; in any event, just at the point when one begins to think "get on with it," night falls and the classic shortcut is taken – but plans for the beach get tossed aside with the sudden appearance of two girls, Kelly (Kate Elliott) and Lisa (Aidee Walker), both sporting oddly outdated outfits, who invite the lads to join then at a party. Before long, the girls are nowhere to be seen and the boys crash the car, forcing them to search for help. Instead, they witness a murder and suddenly find themselves on the run from the murderer and his gang of back-land thugs....
If the film does drag a tad initially, once the main bad guy Bill (Peter McCauley, also seen in Perfect Creature [2006 / trailer]) shows up the film takes off and tension and twists definitely increase. Grant and Paul quickly get separated: Paul loses his car keys but hooks up with Kelly and Lisa, while Grant is forced at gunpoint by a man named Martin (Paul Glover of The Ugly [1997 / trailer]) to finish digging up the grave seen at the start of the film. Between the various terrifying events they experience, it soon becomes very clear that the people of the area have remarkable regenerative powers...
The Locals never actually answers the question why those in that specific area of New Zealand keep coming back to life, but then, the film is not out to explain the supernatural but to present the supernatural, which it does successfully. Regrettably, it is hard to really talk about the film's slight narrative flaws without giving away too much of the plot, so we'll rest here by simply stating that there are some glaring illogicalities in the events that transpire, but the game cast, sure direction and constant movement manage to gloss over them well enough to keep the film gripping. The Locals also hides its modest budget well, and even manages to pull on the heart strings without becoming maudlin. In general the actors (particularly the younger ones) do a top job, and the direction is amazingly mature, occasionally even dipping into arty without ever becoming too obtrusive – the scene of Grant driving the car through the countryside close to the end, like the opening aerial shot, is particularly fine.
In the end, though dotted with the occasional horror shock, The Locals is less a dead-teenager or horror film than a supernatural suspense film. For a modern B-film, it is a bit light on the blood and violence, but at least both are effective when utilized. It might not be a masterpiece, but it does make for an enjoyable viewing – as such, The Locals is thus well worth giving a shot.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Ong Bak III (Thailand, 2010)

At least we now know the slim strand that connects Ong Bak I with Ong Bak II & III: the Buddha statue that has its head stolen in part one is actually made in part three.
Well, at least the filmmakers (as in: Tony Jaa & Panna Rittikrai) managed to interconnect the flicks to each other somehow, however tangently... But other than that, the less said about part three, probably the better. As abruptly and out of the blue as Ong Bak II ended, it was at least an exciting, enthralling and memorable film; with the exception of the first ten minutes, Ong Bak III is anything but exciting, enthralling and memorable, and very much feels and plays like, well, a disjointed religious tract and stretched storyline.
Trailer to
Ong Bak III:
If you happened to read the review to Ong Bak II here at a wasted life, then you know that we found the flick almost as good as a blowjob. But we also pointed out that the movie felt like a wanna-be epic that ran out of time and thus ended out of the blue. Ong Bak III, on the other hand, feels like a half-hour's worth of narrative that had to be stretched to fit the what seems like a ten-hour running time (in fact, it is only around two hours long – which is still about 1.5 hours too much).

Ong Bak III starts up more-or-less where Ong Bak II ends. Tien (Tony Jaa) is now a prisoner of the evil Lord Rajasena (Sarunyu Wongkrachang of 13: Game of Death [2006 / trailer]), who first has him beaten to pulp and then has every bone in his body broken. It is an intensely painful episode that is perhaps the most successful segment of the film, but nonetheless is not at all enjoyable to watch (but then, it shouldn't be). Before Tien can be put to death, however, a dues ex machina in the form of a messenger arrives with a pardon from the King and rides off with the near-dead Tien. Thereafter, for the rest of the film, most of the time when Tien shows up it is to lie around half-dead, feel miserable as a cripple, hug trees, straighten his bones and karma, and learn to dance before, finally, he takes part in the mandatory showdown. Almost any scene in which he is in up until the end is drawn out and numbingly dull. 
In-between, realizing that an action film needs some action, the filmmakers introduce the subplot of how Lord Rajasena is first slowly driven crazy by bad, karma-born nightmares and then deposed by one of his supernaturally evil henchmen, Bhuti Sangkha (Dan Chupong of Born to Fight / Kerd ma lui [1984 / Thai trailer], Dynamite Warrior / Khon fai bin [2006 / trailer], Muay Thai Giant / Somtum [2008 / trailer] and The Tsunami Warrior / Puen yai jon salad [2008 / Thai trailer]). More padding follows, and then the film finally ends peachy keen with happy, good Buddhists meditating in front of their statue, Ong Bak.
Ong Bak III suffers dreadfully due to the fact that the filmmakers seem to forget that they are making an action film and not a Buddhist tract. The occasional mondo highlight like a bodiless head lying in the dirt sputtering out curses or the cool nightmare sequences offer brief seconds of respite, but they do not make the film pass any quicker. The fight scenes of the subplot might be well-staged, but they nevertheless come across as padding – as does 90% of the film. And as for the big showdown, it is so mind-bogglingly "what-the-fuck?!?" in such a bad way that the viewer really feels as if they're having the piss taken out of them. Normally in films like this the oft-laughable acting and bad wigs adds an endearing aspect, but that is not the case here, because when added to the non-existent drama and snail's pace narrative, it is all simply too much bad and not enough fun.
Ong Bak III is not just a disaster, it truly sucks feces — and we say that as total fans of the fabulous Ong Bak I and the only slightly less amazing Ong Bak II. Imagine, however, if you can, a Buddhist Jack Chick pamphlet with as many pages as Moby Dick and you can well imagine what Ong Bak III feels like. Do you really want to do that to yourself?

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ten Best in 2011

As the New Year begins, A Wasted Life wants to once again look back upon all those films, good and bad, that we watched in 2011. We didn't even review a lot of the movies we saw – anything seen in a theater, for example, was not covered, nor were most "found footage" films, or anything caught accidentally on TV and butchered by commercial breaks – but of the forgotten total number feature-length films we wasted our lives watching, more or less a meager 44 were deemed worth either praising or damning on these digital pages. (To the 44 films came an additional 33 entries: the 12 short films of the month, the 21 R.I.P. features and the Best Film in 2010 article.) Some of the movies were really good, some were OK, some were truly crappy and some bowled us over so much that we had trouble controlling our bladder.
As any regular reader of A Wasted Life – there actually seems to be a few, unbelievably enough – knows, what counts to us is not the excellence of the film, per say, but the reaction it got from us. To quote the 2010 entry: "The choice here is also not necessarily based on the quality of the film, but rather how it affected the viewer. Did it leave A Wasted Life open-mouthed in shock? Was it fun to watch? Did it truly entertain?" To that, while the year the given film is from is immaterial to us, what is of importance is that we saw it the first time in 2010: to make our list, the film had to be a new discovery, not a re-watch of something we had seen before. Thus, for example, neither Red Rock West (USA, 1992) nor Soylent Green (USA, 1973) made the list, although they were both definitely highlights of the past year; likewise, the wonderfully trashy Zombie Holocaust (Italy, 1980) also didn't make the cut – perhaps we thought we were seeing something new and unknown when we popped it into the DVD player, but it proved to be a fabulous blast from the past, and thus cannot be included no matter how much we enjoyed it.
Furthermore, none of the monthly short films are eligible, even though the February 2011 Short Film of the Month, The Hangman, from 1964, truly deserves to be on someone's Best Films list.
Our initial list, after the disqualifications above, numbered eleven films that we deemed worthy of special mention, one too many for a Top Ten. After much hemming and hawing, we decided to cut the kimchi western The Good, the Bad, the Weird (Korea, 2008) from the list. Yes, it is a truly great film and well worth watching, but we can't help but find that the filmmakers lacked the balls to give the film the truly shocking, nihilistic ending it so needed, and thus it failed to make our list. Likewise, The Good, the Bad, the Weird was the most expensive film to have been made in Korea up till then, so it had the money to be good – although, as Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich both amply evidence, big budgets don't necessarily mean good films. Still, we decided to allow budget to influence our decision this year.
As always, the films are NOT presented in any order of preference. The titles are all linked to the original reviews presented on A Wasted Life. Read and enjoy – or better: go watch the films yourself.


Nightmare City
(Italy, 1980, dir. Umberto Lenzi)
AKA: City of the Walking Dead. The zombie attack on the disco dancers alone made this film a shoo-in on our list. Starring one of the all-time most wooden actors in the world, the Mexican exploitation-film king Hugo Stiglitz, Nightmare City is an ecologically-minded trash classic that is a lot more fun than it is good. As one of the first "zombie" films to feature high-speed flesheaters, it delivers the goods in gore, bad acting, non-sensical plot development, and bad dubbing. One of the few films that ever saw us cheering when the lead female actress died, the true ending should break the film – as the trick has so many other films – but oddly enough, it really seems to fit this enjoyable piece of classic Italo-trash.
Trailer:




Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
(USA, 2010, dir. Eli Craig)
Can someone explain to me how this baby has managed to slip through the cracks like it has? Yeah, sure: You've heard of it – like everyone has. So why haven't you seen it yet? This intelligent twist on the killer-hillbilly dead-teenager film is a blast – high on blood, heavy on laughs and, for the gals, it even has true love and a happy ending. (OK, no nekkid flesh, but this a film from 21st century USA, so do you really expect any?)
Trailer:




(USA, 2007, dir. Robert Rodriguez)
It seems almost ironic that the original Grindhouse double-feature project as instigated by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez ended up with Tarantino making his to-date worst film and Rodriguez making one of his best. As an imitation of the real thing, this faux-Grindhouse film has almost all the right ingredients – only the lack of that essential Grindhouse ingredient, nekkid boobies, keeps it from achieving perfection. But it nevertheless comes close enough to the classic experience to almost make you literally smell the rancid air and feel the sticky seats of the best skid-row theaters of yesterday. Planet Terror kicks ass! Its sly visual reference to Thundercrack! (1975) is only one of many highlights in a film that overflows in tactless gore and goo and intelligent stupidity.
Trailer:




(Italy/USA, 1964, dir. Sidney Salkow & Ubaldo B. Ragona)
Trailer:

The plot, as supplied on Internet Archives: "This classic features Vincent Price as scientist Robert Morgan in a post apocalyptic nightmare world. The world has been consumed by a ravenous plague that has transformed humanity into a race of bloodthirsty vampires. Only Morgan proves immune, and becomes the solitary vampire slayer." We had read about this film for years before we finally got around to watching it. We're a big fan of both the original novel the movie is based on, Richard Matherson's I Am Legend, and the 1971 Charlton Heston take on the tale, The Omega Man (trailer), but it took the abysmal Will Smith film of I Am Legend (2007 / trailer) to make us finally check out the low-budget, Italo-American Vincent Price version that legendarily inspired Night of the Living Dead (1968 / trailer / full film). Of all the film versions we've seen, as uneven as The Last Man on Earth is, it is also the best. Without a doubt a classic of modern horror films, it is well worth watching.
Full film:




(Spain, 2007, dir. Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)
We here at A Wasted Life are not a fan of the horror films by the Spanish filmmaker Jaume Balagueró; in fact, up until [REC], we hadn't liked a single film he had made. Despite the obvious dues [REC] pays – like hundreds of other films – to the found-footage technique of Blair Witch Project (1999 / trailer), the film is nevertheless well made, well paced, scary as hell, horrific, and well anchored by an extremely likable heroine. We weren't just surprised when we saw this flick, we were literally bowled over – not only had Balagueró finally made a good film, but unlike his others, [REC] lived up to its word of mouth. Still, we almost dropped this film in favor of The Good, the Bad, the Weird, even though the two films have nothing in common. You see, two years after making [REC], Balagueró & Plaza regurgitated the first sequel to the film, [REC]2, a film we so hated that we wanted to slight [REC] out of simple spite. But in the end, we decided to be fair: ignoring the fact that Balagueró & Plaza have created another unneeded, dead-horse-flogging franchise from what was a truly good film, [REC] is simply far more consistent in its vision than The Good, the Bad, the Weird, and thus definitely deserves it place on our list, where we now put it with gritted teeth.
Trailer:




(UK/Denmark, 2009, dir. Nicolas Winding Refn)
Once again, a film featuring actor Mads Mikkelsen makes our list – the decidedly odd, religiously-minded Danish head-trip Adam's Apples (2005 / trailer) made our Ten Best Films in 2009 list. As we say in our review of the movie, "Valhalla Rising is genetically enhanced crossbreed of sativa and indica." A wildly arty and violent film, Valhalla Rising is a love it or hate it film – and we thought in came close to being newly waxed poontang.
Trailer:




(USA, 2008, dir. Gregg Bishop)
This film definitely has its cuteness factor: real teens playing in a zom-com about teens vs zombies. Well-made with a young and game cast, the dialog is witty without being overdone, and the action is bloody and violent without ever being mean-spirited. Good for the nights that you know you want a funny film that doesn't insult your intelligence and doesn't overstay its welcome. Dance of the Dead is one you can watch with the whole family...
Trailer:




(USA, 1985, dir. John Carr, Phillip Marshak, Tom McGowan, Jay Schlossberg-Cohen & Gregg C. Tallas)
This is a film that has to be seen to be believed. Night Train to Terror is without a doubt one of the worst films ever made in the world – or rather, worst films ever culled together, as this "anthology film" was sewn together from four other films in various states of completion: Cataclysm (1980 / full film), Death Wish Club (1983) and Scream Your Head Off – the last, unfinished, was eventually molded into Marilyn Alive and Behind Bars (1992). But, as sometimes happens when a film really goes so utterly, terribly wrong, something unexplainable "right" occurs, and the monstrosity suddenly becomes something surreally entertaining. We love this film – it's the perfect film to show, for example, as a double-feature with Slugs (1988 / trailer), a film that made our Ten Best Films in 2010 list.
Trailer:

Trailer provided by Video Detective




(USA, 2007, dir. Toby Wilkins)
How much you'll like this film will probably depend on how much you like Jack Arnold films and the like. Splinter is a truly nostalgic experience, but in contemporary clothing. It might not offer anything new, but that's not the real point: it shows a love and understanding of the classic monster films of the 50s that once dominated the afternoon Creature Feature shows of local TV stations, paying loving respect to the source while adding enough of the new to not simply be a rehash. We liked it a lot... the perfect double feature with the first Tremors (1990 / trailer) movie.
Trailer:




(USA, 2009, dir. Michael Dougherty)
Trick 'r Treat is another one of those films that can only lead you to the conclusion that studio heads are fucking retards. Like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil above, this baby has been unjustly mishandled by the ones in charge and illogically treated like a first wife that you just don't want to deal with – possibly because she is both better looking, more intelligent and sexier than your present one. This film is scary, is funny, is well shot and well acted and well edited – in other words, it is simply a really good film. Yeah, once again: You've heard of it – like everyone has. So why haven't you seen it yet? Make it your yearly Halloween tradition, it deserves to be!
Trailer: