Been there, done that.
Watching films like this give me the feeling that perhaps it is time to stop wasting my life. Really, how do some films ever get financed? Are those involved never ashamed for what they create? Is it not embarrassing for them to regurgitate their total lack of creativity on the screen for all the world to see? If there is one good thing about The Dark Lurking, it is that the flick is so fucking bad (in a bad way) that it could well ensure that those involved – and in particular first-time director Gregory Connors, who also is the blame for having "written" the thing – never again make another film. Let us pray.
The DVD cover is endemic of the film itself: Hey, let's just simply sell our turd using Geiger's Alien monster as the selling point. Not that the film has all that much to do with Alien (1979 / trailer) – aside from a certain love of air shafts, that is – but considering how unoriginal the whole film is, it is hardly surprising that even the packaging steals from elsewhere. The Dark Lurking owes a lot more to Resident Evil (2002 / trailer) or even the fun cheapie Alien Lockdown (2004 / trailer), both of which are indefinitely better and much more entertaining films – which says a lot, especially if you're one of the half-dozen people in the world that have bothered to watch Alien Lockdown. Alien Lockdown itself stole from other films, but at least it was cheaply fun and funny and good for a laugh; The Dark Lurking isn't really good for anything. True, the ooze and slime and guts do go a-flying, but that gets boring real quickly as there is nothing else of interest in the film.
So, what happens? Well, deep underground at Research Station 320 something has gone wrong. The experiment has gone out of control and the now locked-down research facilities is overrun by a mass of blood-thirsty mutant monsters that kill and eat every human in their path, who then also turn into blood-thirsty mutant monsters. Pretty thing Lena (Tonia Renee) wakes up naked and without her memory, and before long she joins a rag-tag group of survivors (consisting of various facility personnel and some mercenaries) trying to survive. They go down some flights and then go up some flights and go through a lot of air shafts and there's fog and ooze and bullets and blood and (once too often) total visual incoherence but no real plot to speak of. The number dwindles one by one and the truth is revealed: the lab was trying to clone evil (!) itself from an evil book (!!) and all them critters out there are a part of the great evil clone – Lena!!!! But like the one mercenary says to her close to the end: "You can change." (Tell that to a Republican, whydonchya?)
The ooze and guts are top notch, the cropped-together story an incoherent and ridiculous car wreck of a thread pretending to be a narrative, the direction sub-film school and lost on the editing table, and the acting almost universally sub-standard (Ozzie Devrish as Kirkland, a sub-intelligent mercenary who loses his life to leg-eating, slimy tagliatelle is probably the best actor of the film). But worst of all, The Dark Lurking is one of those films that causes time to come to a standstill: dunno how long the film actually is, but it went on forever.
The ending of the film is nicely depressing and dark and (for the first time) mildly surprising, providing you haven't fallen asleep and actually catch it, but by then it is much too late and too little to redeem the movie in any way. The Dark Lurking is a film for only the most undemanding and brainless action junkies who are willing to watch anything for a fix.