Monday, March 15, 2010

Evil Aliens (UK, 2005)

If you are one of the few, the select to have seen and liked Lawes's & Trotman's super-low-budget farce Demagogue (1998), then you are sure to find this flick the bee’s knees. But assuming that you, like the rest of the world, have never even heard of the tasteless UK gore comedy just mentioned, then other classic low budget films of quality (and broader distribution) that indicate a similar level of affinity to this flick that also immediately come to mind are Re-Animator (19865 / trailer) and Bride of Re-Animator (1990 / trailer), Brain Dead (1992 / trailer) and—perhaps most closely, seeing that the flick is also about nasty aliens—Bad Taste (1987 / trailer). Like all the low budget films just named, Evil Aliens is a unique blend of tastelessness, gross humor and gore that defies simple description, much less moral justification. Marketed with the tagline "A bloody close encounter", Evil Aliens truly lives up to what it promises, in spades and as heavy on the laughs as the blood.
Shot in Wales and England (No, Victoria, they are not the same thing), Evil Aliens is the second feature length film produced, written and directed by Jake West, a prolific director of DVD extras for Anchor Bay. A huge jump up in quality from his seldom seen first film Razor Blade Smile (1998 / trailer), Evil Aliens is also immeasurably better than his next flick Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes (2006 / trailer), which lacks everything that makes this gore farce so much fun. (But luckily, going by the trailer to Doghouse, his newest production, Pumpkinhead was probably a simple rent-paying faux pas.)
Evil Aliens quickly indicates how low (and deep) it will within the first five minutes with a painful scene that leaves every man squirming in their seat incorporating a pimped-out version of the razor-blade dildo flashed by Anthony Perkins in Kurt Russell's Crimes of Passion (1984 / trailer). From then on out Evil Aliens never lets up in its vulgar, gore-laden pandering to the lowest of comic sensibilities—to the viewer’s great enjoyment. Sperm-splattered walls, impalement through the butt (of a gay character, no less), flying eyeballs, alien impregnation, talking decapitated heads, multiple amputations and popped zits are but a few of the highlights wrought by Evil Aliens, liberally peppered by some of the finest one-liners to fly in a long time and a selection of hot looking babes with accents so adorable that they don’t even have to talk dirty to make a man feel something move. (OK, the flick's low on nekkid ta-tas, but what film isn't nowadays? Still, even if the gals stay mostly dressed, there is at least one fun scene featuring a flexible E-cupped alien with hooked nipples—it might not exactly be hot, but it is funny and sure takes the cake for plain audaciousness.)
After the above mentioned anal probe scene, the flick turns to London where the ratings of the sensationalist TV show Weird World aren’t doing so hot. Lead reporter and cleavage Michelle Fox (Emily Booth, hot babe extraordinaire of Pervirella (1997 / trailer—so why leave it at just cleavage?) heads off to the remote (in real life non-existent) Welsh island of Scalled with her film team to shoot a report on the claims of a local woman named Cat (Jennifer Evans) that she’s been impregnated by aliens. In tow are her fuck-bud and cameraman Ricky (Sam Butler), his soundman, a gay actor, the actress Candy Vixen (Jodie Shaw) and a nerdy ufologist named Gavin (Jamie Honeybourne). What starts out as a cynical chase for higher ratings turns into bitter earnest when the group gets trapped on the island with Cat and her three in-bred brothers and a hoard of evil aliens out to maim, kill and have a good time.
Evil Aliens may be a low budget film, but it sure doesn't show it. Well acted and heavy on the bloodshed, once the team is trapped and aliens show up it barrels along at full speed spurting body parts and fluids left and right, sometimes not even pausing long enough for some the tossed jokes to actually even sink in. The special effects easily outdo many a film of higher pedigree and budget, as do the laughs and gore. (Spoiler.) But be forewarned: don’t bother rooting for any of the characters—by the time any of the assholes become likeable, their clock is set to stop.

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