Friday, June 25, 2021

Short Film: Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers (USA, 1930 [?])

"The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there."
Special tnanks to Cartoon Research for introducing us to this short.
Film, like life, is an ephemeral thing. It's there, and then it isn't. Everything is but dust in the wind. But unlike life, sometimes, if rarely, a film comes back — as happened, aptly enough, with Frankenstein (1910), our Short Film of the Month last month. Sometimes, however, when films come back, they're different, something is missing…
And that is the case of this extremely obscure stop-animation short, now known as Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers, which resurfaced somewhere along the way but without its original soundtrack. Nowadays, the short can be found online underscored with different aural treatments, none of which are the original. (Personally, we find the version found here has the more-appropriate "borrowed" soundtrack, but the version we embed below has much clearer visuals.) This oddly uncomfortable short here was released by Warner Bros. in 1930 as part of its Vitaphone series ("Vitaphone production reel #1136"), and as with many of its Vitaphone ilk, the accompanying disk is lost. ("Vitaphone was a sound film system used for feature films and nearly 1,000 short subjects made by Warner Bros. and its sister studio First National from 1926 to 1931. […] The soundtrack was not printed on the film itself, but issued separately on phonograph records. The discs […] would be played on a turntable physically coupled to the projector motor while the film was being projected. [Wikipedia]")
It is entirely possible that once upon a time the short even had spoken dialogue, but the lack of that in no way hampers the overall effect of the short. Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers is simply an oddly unnerving, vexatious, and disturbing short that sits smack dab in the middle of a dreamscape one step away from being a nightmare. "Love never looked so creepy. […] Just a fun, weird little short to make you ponder just why all children's entertainment pre-Willy Wonka seemed to be designed to scare the ever-loving shit out its intended audience. [Content Party & Review]"
Dolly Daisy in
Hearts and Flowers:

It is arguable that Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers was made for kiddies, as it is a bit sexually suggestive for a pre-peachfuzz audience. The plot involves a love triangle: two guys, both with voyeuristic tendencies — But then, what man doesn't have voyeuristic tendencies? — vying for the attentions of a fickle female. Along the way, they both carelessly cause physical harm to hapless third persons (the mother [?] and a somewhat stereotypical Black fisherman) and the gal floats to the moon… All the characters are dolls, and even in ancient B&W they exude a close kinship to Chucky and other evil dolls of his kind.
Whether the film was truly made in 1930, the year commonly attributed, is possibly open to question — as the blogspot The Boundaries of Fantasy indicated way back in 2009: the puppet used for the sailor is the same "Mugsy" (a.k.a. "Mugzee") puppet used in a short entitled Cracked Ice, which, depending on the source you read, was made in either 1917 or 1922. So, while it is entirely possible that the film was rereleased with a new date added, it could also be that the Mugzee puppet was simply reused for the film. It is doubtful that the short's producer/director Howard S. Moss (9 June 1881 – July [possibly 30 June] 1964) treated his dolls with anything less than TLC, going by what AFI mentions in their entry on Moss's lost, 50-minute human & doll film, The Dream Doll (1917): "Moss was credited with designing and building some of the fourteen-inch dolls used in the film, while many others were made to order by European craftspeople; his collection was valued at several thousand dollars."
According to the World Catalog, there seems to be a 1917 Howard S. Moss short entitled Dolly Doings, which seems to have had nothing to do with the little girls' book of almost the same title by E. Patterson from 1880. We doubt that it is the same film as Hearts and Flowers, if only because there is a Vitaphone release from 1930, #1065, also from Moss, entitled Dolly Daisy in Dizzy Doings – a film not yet added to his filmography. But assuming that the 1917 & 1930 Dizzy Doings are the same short, credence is given to the hypothesis that H&F is likewise older.

Moss's accepted known filmography is spotty, at best, with many films lost or forgotten. Going by Loyd Bruce Holman's Puppet Animation in the Cinema: History and Technique (pub. 1975), some of Moss's titles lost to time include: Dunkling of the Circus (1917), Goldilocks and the Three Bears (1917), In the Jungle (1917), Jimmy Gets the Pennant (1917), A Kitchen Romance (1917), The Magic Pig (1917), Midnight Frolic (1917), and Out in the Rain (1917). The First Century of Cinema, a website only open to educational institutions (as of July 2021) — and that gave us all the dates to the films listed above — would add the following shorts: The Beauty Contest (1921), The Dollies of 1917 (1917), The Dream Doll (1917), School Days (1917), A Trip to the Moon (1917) and possibly The Moss Doll (1930). Most, if not all, Motoy (a.k.a. Mo-Toy) Films seem to have been distributed by the Peter Pan Film Corporation.
An online search reveals other Mo-Toy titles as well, at varied locations, but no single list that includes them all, and often Moss's animator gets the credit. Take a look at this one, for example, Buzz Saws and Dynamite, starring Mugzee [aka Mugsy], one of Dolly's suitors, and credited to Charles Bennes, the animator of Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers (and Dizzy Doings, for that matter). (For more info on Buzz Saws, go here.) Or how about Mugzee in this surreal short with sound, Mr Mugzee in Television a.k.a. Television Romance, likewise credited to the unknown Charles Bennes.
Considering how early the duo practised the art of stop motion animation, and the extent of their (mostly lost) incredibly strange output, it would seem to us that they and their work are unjustly forgotten.
Absolutely nothing can be found online about Charles Bennes, but only a little bit more can be uncovered about Howard S. Moss a.k.a. Howard Moss a.k.a. Stanley Moss a.k.a. Howard Stanley Moss. He was born in Chicago, where he ran Motoy Films and, in 1902, married Florence Adele Seavey, with whom he may have had two (twins) or three children, and died in NYC in 1964. "Animated puppets, not drawings, were the staple of Chicago-based Howard Moss's films. These juvenile shorts frequently featured caricatures of screen stars like Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin. [SilentFilmOrg]"
BTW: The Mugzee puppet is believed by some to be a caricatured of silent film star Ben Turpin [19 Sept 1869 – 1 July 1940]. (Q only knows who Dolly should be. Colleen Brennan, maybe?) Whoever Mugzee is based on, it definitely seems to us that Mugzee himself inspired another famous face familair to us all:

Friday, June 18, 2021

All My Friends Are Dead / Wszyscy moi przyjaciele nie zyja (Poland, 2020)

This Netfux production is a blood- and death- and sex-drenched Polish black comedy that is more enjoyable than it probably should be. If there is a core lesson to be learnt from the narrative of All My Friends Are Dead, then it is surely that one should not have hot, orgasmic sex while holding a loaded gun in one's hand (or, in turn, you shouldn't orgasm a babe if she's holding a loaded gun). For it is with the scene in which this transpires that the dominoes (as in bodies) begin to fall, one after the other, resulting in the resolution whence this film takes its name. In that sense, the movie doesn't really have a plot: it simply starts with everyone dead and then shows how it happened.
Polish Trailer to 
Wszyscy moi przyjaciele nie zyja:
All My Friends Are Dead opens the morning after a catalytic New Year's party in which all the friends die, and playfully enough the movie's title is not delivered in writing but by the spoken words of the sole survivor as she is carried out on a stretcher, her neck obviously broken. This prefatory scene also reveals that Polish cops, with or without sticky fingers, seem to be about as incompetent as American cops are willing to kill black people. But not too much time is spent on the mildly critical presentation of the capabilities of Polish cops; instead, after a quick review of diverse dead individuals and the pile of corpses as a whole, the movie quickly moves to the past to reveal just how the swinging private party of twens — a party not all that different from millions around the world on any given New Year's night — became a house full of dead people.
For the opening party scene of his feature film directorial debut, the director and screenwriter Jan Belcl resorts to an extremely artificial artifice to get the introductions out of the way: the viewer basically looks over the shoulder of two guests as the popular host walks through the party and gives a quick introductory explanation of (or has a quick revealing exchange with) all the faces of importance. Not everyone in the party, in other words, but enough people that specific characters register, allowing one to put the still-living faces in conjunction with the dead bodies seen at the start of the movie. Soon thereafter All My Friends Are Dead segues into farcicality and grotesque, so realistic conduct often is lacking (see: sex with a loaded gun in your hand). But then, who needs realism or logic when, after the first *GASP!*, the crude and nasty laughs flow so easily?
True, the humor is often sexist, crass, or simply puerile, but as blatant and obvious and easy as many of the laughs are, a few are also subtle (look at the girl's face when her boyfriend says he respects her too much to ever piss on her), have long build-ups (what happens after she breaks up with him for being such a wimp), or are unexpected (exploding silicon anyone?). Indeed, although the film comes across as not particularly intelligent and definitely tasteless, there is often a lot more behind the events and interactions than what plays out. Some jokes, for all their bluntness, display an enjoyably socially critical basis — it just isn't obvious as they occur. And amidst it all, Gloria (Monika Krzywkowska ), a total party-girl MILF, even manages to give a long and extremely touching rant about the fears, if not probably realities, older women face when entering a serious relationship with a younger man.
Director Jan Belcl almost loses control of his material during the big finale scene (specifically, the point in which the gun turns into one of those magic guns that ever needs reloading), but he catches the curve with a killer Christmas tree, a scene that reveals why every house should have a security circuit breaker, and a closing alternative-reality ending that reveals that sometimes shit happens even in perfect places. (Can a film be homophobic and homo-happy at the same time?)
All My Friends Are Dead is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but if you are the type that enjoys a blackly funny body count, this tightly shot grotesque will probably offer you a pleasant evening's viewing.
And always remember: don't forget to drink enough liquids when you're dancing the night away on X.

Thursday, June 10, 2021

Zonbideo / Zomvideo (Japan, 2011)

Over here in Germany, this zomcom was give the title Rage of the Undead, a title that is easily open to misinterpretation in that it sounds soooo serious when this mercifully short film (as in: it really doesn't overstay its welcome at only 77 minutes, even if it does fall apart towards the end) is anything but serious. It is a typically batshit, blood-drenched Japanese black comedy grotesque along the lines of, say, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009) or Tokyo Gore Police (2008), but perhaps with a tad less gore and somewhat lower production values. Be warned, though: "a tad less gore" hardly means that this film is blood-lite – "blood-lite" seems never to be an option when it comes to Nipponese comedies of this ilk.
Japanese trailer to
Interestingly enough, and an indication of interesting cleft in the cultures between East and West, this flick full of exposed brains, scissors in eyes, throats ripped out, blood showers, melting faces, gay stereotypes and so forth is/was nevertheless seen as a viable vehicle for barely legal adolescent-looking pop-group nubiles: the cast of Zomvideo includes numerous members of the then still-active female pop group °C-ute (see the abysmal video below), including the group's lead singer, the at the time 19-year-old Maimi Yajima, who plays the film's main heroine. One has a hard time imagining any American pubescent female mass-market product — don't know any current examples, but think early Hanna Montana, Brittany or Selena Gomez (or Justin Bieber, for that matter, with or without tats) — being allowed, much less put, in a gore-heavy ludicrousy like this or even something similar but less extreme like, dunno, Zombiland (2009) or Shawn of the Dead (2004 / trailer). Don't think that would be seen as a good career move, for some odd reason…
°C-ute —
Ookina Ai de Motenashite:
Zomvideo starts off either somewhat meta or somewhat sloppy. The first person introduced is a school-uniformed, henti-aged lass running out of her house on the way to school, but she doesn't get very far before running into a zombified busker with an Everybody Love Mary (1998 / trailer) cowlick. Any notions that the lass might be the main character quickly go the way of all the blood that spatters on the piece of breakfast toast she drops on the ground, and soon she too is a cowlicked zombie. (Highly doubtful that this visual zombie attribute will ever achieve canonization — but who knows. Do you know? We don't know. Does Q know? He would, wouldn't he?)
And then comes something that either got lost in translation or was due to cost-cutting measures or sloppy scriptwriting (or maybe we were so stoned we mixed things up): the zombification scene is part of a video, an ancient and shelved government-sponsored How to Survive a Zombie Attack educational video — think of the "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" short Duck and Cover but in blood-drenched full color and with Asian zombies instead of turtles, little white kids and atom bombs — made some decades earlier that the film's true heroine, the Asian-fetish-inducing Aiko (19-year-old Maimi Yajima of Fuyu no kaidan: Boku to watashi to obaachan no monogatari [2009 / full film], Black Fox: Age of the Ninja [2019 / trailer] and Ôsama gêmu [2011 / trailer]), discovers while going through an unsorted archive pile of unmarked videos at the video production company she works at (thanks to her uncle). But damn! Those very same zombies are now banging at the door.
Okay, we admit that by now, a few days after having watched Zomvideo, we've sort of forgot some of the motivations behind specific characters — the zombies — but then this blood-spattered film is pretty ridiculous and little if anything was written or intended to be deep and serious (though there is perhaps an interpretational level to the flick on a kind of X-man level). In any event, the movie really doesn't remain in your head too long: it is fun while it lasts, but is hardly something to write home to your mama about. (Although you could, for unlike some other Japanese zombie comedies out there, for example Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead [2011 / trailer] or Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead [2011 / trailer], Zomvideo doesn't leave you feeling dirty and ashamed for having watched it.)
"Wait!" you say, "The zombies have a motivation? They want more than to eat your guts or, as the case may be, brains?" Yes, indeedy! Here, the zombies are led by the campy and at times annoying but always interesting Yasude (Miyuki Torii, above not from the film, of the sequel to Meatball Machine (2005), Kodoku: Meatball Machine [2017 / trailer], Zombie TV [2013 / trailer] and Plan 6 Channel 9 [2016 / trailer]). Dressed in an outfit that is a direct reference the famous Japanese cult character Matsu the Scorpion (who was in turn played by the Japanese cult actress Meiko Kaji), example poster below, Yasude's hat hides the fact that her brains are hanging out. For whatever reason, she can control the zombies even as she can control her own hunger for humans, and she and her sidekick (played by another cookie-cut of °C-ute jailbait) want something in the building where the horror-film-hating Aiko, her nerdy zombie-film-loving coworker Hashimoto (Tomu Miyazaki) and her Uncle are the last humans left alive. Luckily, the three have the Zomvideo to show them how to fight and kill zombies with everyday items…
Zomvideo will hardly appeal to serious zombie purists, even those who like humor between the gut munching, for it leans way more towards the absurdly silly than the scary or unnerving (as in: way more like the fabulously inane series Z-Nation [2014-18 / trailer] than the mostly snore-inducing and traditional Black Summer [2019 / trailer]). Despite the schoolgirls and nubiles, Zomvideo refrains from sliding backwards to become just another Japanese underage-schoolgirl-fixated slice of sexualized exploitation and, once the zombies attack, evolves into a mildly surreal and offbeat grotesque that even includes moments of female empowerment. The silly bizarreness of the humor goes a little over the top towards the end with the big reveal of the video and doesn't really work, which makes for a mildly sloppy and disappointing ending.
Nevertheless, on the whole Zomvideo remains an amusing way to pass a short period of time (as said, 77 minutes). Fun but inconsequential, the viewing experience is definitely improved with the presence of beer and weed, as well as a larger and verbal viewing crowd in front of the tube. Make this one a social experience.
But, really: zombie cowlicks?

Thursday, June 3, 2021

Harry Reems, Part X: Addendum III (1973-84)

Way back in March 2013, when the studly and hirsute Golden Age porn star
Harry Reems (27 Aug 1947 – 19 Mar 2013) died, we began our long, fat look at his tool career and films: a full 8 lengthy blog entries! (Links to each are found bellow.) And while length is almost as much fun as girth, by the time we got to Part VII (1986-2013) we were really ready to roll over and go to sleep. Which is why we never got around to finishing the already-started Addendum Parts I – 4, which looked at the films that we somehow missed or skipped in our extended and meaty Parts I through VII. And then we went and lost the stick we had our Harry Reems file on (a lesson in backing documents up, that was).
But last January, while trying to distract ourselves from the Covid-related death of our paternal parent, we cleaned house in corners we had never cleaned before — and low and behold! The stick was found, probably where the cat kicked it. 
And so, seven years later to the month, Addendum Part I appeared, much like delayed ejaculation: better late than never. And now, following last month's relatively short but meaty Addendum Part II, here is a somewhat longer and fatter Addendum Part III. (If you're into size, next month's final Addendum installment, Part IV, is gonna floor you.)
Not that we actually plan to finish the Addendum(s): we merely want to finally put online what we had already finished way back then, mildly updated. (Way back when, we lost interest in the undertaking as of the films around 1985...) 
We dedicate the rediscovered Addendum(s) to our departed paternal parent, who inadvertently introduced us to Harry Reems when we, as a late teen, stumbled upon his VHS copy of Deep Throat (1972, see Harry Reems Part II) hidden in the VHS box for Key Largo (1948 / trailer).* 
* He also had The Resurrection of Eve (1973 / Purple Skies and Butterflies) hidden in his To Have and Have Not (1944 / trailer) box, but the 1973 film wasn't funny enough to keep us watching until the end.
From the soundtrack of Deep Throat
Deeper and Deeper:

Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II (1969–72)
Go here for Part III (1973–74)
Go here for Part IV (1975–79)
Go here for Part V (1980–84)
Go here for Part VI (1985)
Go here for Part VII (1986–2013)
Go here for Part VIII: Addendum Part I
Go here for Part IX: Addendum Part II

Prurient Interest
(1973, dir. "B. Truart")
Perhaps a.k.a. Tiderna förändras baby! Poster thanks to the website written over the image. A mystery film, in all likelihood lost. But it existed once upon a time, and was even screened as part of a double feature with the Tina Russell hicksploitation vehicle, All in the Sex Family (1973), at the Boyes Theatre in Boyes Hot Springs, CA. (The advert was found at the Rialto Report: Jack Bravman: Snuff, The Slaughter, and who was J. Angel Martine?)
As far as we can tell, the iafd is the only source online that claims that Prurient Interest features the prurient talents of Harry Reems, a claim that is supported by Jason S. Martinko in his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, which also adds Andrea True, Darby Lloyd Rains, Jamie Gillis, Marc Williams and Davey Jones to the list of players and says: "This film is the story of Snow White, going to New York City to become a porno actress. It played in Chicago, Illinois on September 28, 1973, and San Diego, California on January 18, 1974." 
Supposedly the film's trailer can be found on Vol. 14 of Bucky's '70s Triple XXX Movie House Trailers Vol. 14 (1999), but neither film nor the trailer can currently be found online.
The imdb, BTW, removes Reems from the cast but adds the attractive Arlana Blue (born 15 Nov 1948 as Arlene Schnetkowski) and the tragic Valerie Marron (22 Oct 1955 – 13 Oct 2008). For more on Valerie, read Wet Rainbow (1974): Two Lives in Contrast at the Rialto Report. 
The director is not known to have made another movie, at least not under that name. We are sure that Prurient Interest, in any event, is nothing but True Art....
The Russians Are Coming
(1973, dir. Harry Reems)

Supposedly a.k.a. The Russians Are Here, this NSFW and hairy film can be found all over the web by now. Assumedly, the title of this one-day wonder a reference to the mainstream but mostly forgotten Norman Jewison comedy, The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! (1966 / trailer below), which oddly enough was nominated for four Oscars.

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!
Once again we turn to Jason S. Martinko and his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988: "Supposedly, Harry Reems directed this film about an American (Jeffrey Hurst) who brings three New York City girls to service three Soviet bigwigs who can't speak English. Georgina Spelvin performs a double penetration scene."
The "supposedly" can be dumped by now, according to what Jeffrey Hurst says about the film over at the Rialto Report in Fade To Blue: The Accidental Porn Star by Jeffrey Hurst. Hurst's first feature-length film seems to be Bob Mason's softcore The Love Lords (1972 / scene), which eventually got released with hardcore inserts as Saturday Night Special (1976), while Hurst's trusty erection debuted in Contact! (1973). That film led to Harry Reems calling him a week later to partake in the then still-unnamed one-day wonder shot in a 14th floor apartment "at the stylish, white ash building at 79th and Broadway", where Harry explained the film's plot thusly: "We have three guys and three girls. Jeff, I want you to be an Ambassador to the U.N. The other guys [John Clemens, Levi Richards (31 Jul 1944 – 6 Oct 2015)* & Ashley Moore] are horny Russian diplomats. You bring in these call-girls to service the Russians. Not only do you keep them happy, but you make the world a safer place." 
As Hurst puts it, "As the Ambassador, I had sex with Georgina [Spelvin] and the girl whose name I can't remember [Any Mathieu, below]. The challenge to me was improvising dialogue and staying in character. So, when I had my two sex scenes, I came as an Ambassador to the U.N. One was an oral cumshot, the other was in the line of duty. It was... most diplomatic."
* "A 71-year-old real estate broker killed himself with a shotgun after a city marshal knocked on his door to evict him from his Murray Hill apartment Tuesday, police sources said. [Rialto Report: Whatever Happened to Levi Richards? – The Journey to Hart Island]"
The now defunct blog Vintage Gay Media was a fan of Jeffrey Hurst (photo below) and had the following to say about The Russians Are Coming!: "There are many straight male porn stars who enjoy big gay fan bases (Harry Reems immediately comes to mind), so why don't more people know about Jeff's work? [...] The film was a showcase for Jeff in that he was able to display his comic talents alongside being a very handsome stud."
In any event, before leaving porn, Hurst took part in two X-rated porno horrors by two masters of incredibly strange films: Roberta Findlay's "feminist psycho slasher" A Woman's Torment (1977 / credits) and Doris Wishman's Come with Me My Love (1976).

Over at imdb, lor from New York City saw The Russians Are Coming and (unlike Vintage Gay Media) wasn't impressed: "Poor Harry Reems is accused in imdb of directing this particularly poor porn film; if so it explains why he was never in demand behind the cameras. The Russians Are Coming takes mediocrity to a new, lower level. [...] The Russians can't speak any English. That dispenses with the need for dialog or even a story, so we are presented with a poorly photographed all-sex outing lasting an hour. To call this junk tedious is too kind. [...] Spelvin is given no dialog to work with, instead she embarrassingly dances around as if doing ballet or imitating Isadora Duncan, in the nude of course, and it's sad to behold. The makeup department was kind to Andrea True, who looks positively lovely, but is merely here for mechanical sex. [...] After the final series of money shots, film simply ends with the Russians leaving. In a more logical world, this ephemeral movie would have been lost forever and not missed, but thanks to Something Weird it has been reissued [...]. After the obligatory big final orgy, everybody does the conga! Ole!" 
Reems stunt-cocked for one of the guys who couldn't deliver the prerequisite second load, for which Hurst had no problem.
Has nothing to do with either Reems's or Jewison's film —
Val Bennett's The Russians Are Coming (1968):

Revolving Teens
(1973, dir. Harry Reems)
A.k.a. Revolting Teens. According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "An uncredited Harry Reems directed this silly schoolgirl story. [...] It's also known in the USA by the bowdlerized titles Revolving Tease and Revolving Youth." The Shakespearean plot: "The sexual escapades of the students and teachers at a high school. [The TMDB]"
Probably once hard to find, the hour-long one-day wonder can now be found for free all over the web or bought from sites like Hot Movies, which describes the film thusly: "This is one dysfunctional Academy. Filled with coed students who don't know the first thing about wood shop, but they definitely know how to get their wood treated with care, girls who don't care about badminton, but love to play with cocks, and a principal/headmistress with an alluring French accent who seems to solve all problems using her mouth, hands, and holes!"
Back on 29 November 2012, however, Woody Anders gave a bit more detail at the imdb: "[...] Legendary adult cinema stud Harry Reems sports a hilariously obvious powdered wig and hams it up with hearty gusto as a hot-tempered, pipe-smoking carpentry shop teacher. Fetching brunette Any Mathieu likewise has a field day as lusty principal Miss Dupont: Mathieu not only has a pretty face and a nice slim body, but also wears an adorable bow-tie during her strenuous sex scene with Reems and later engages in a scorching hot girl-girl session with one of the errant female students. Eric Edwards is his usual affable, easygoing self as handsome gym teacher Mr. Hardy, who most certainly lives up to his name in his energetic coupling with the yummy Helen Madigan. Meanwhile the luscious Valerie Marron gamely participates in a sizzling threesome with two ready, willing, and able guys. [...] This breezy affair vividly captures the carefree 'if it feels good, do it' happy, libertine, and uninhibited vibe of the 70s; it's a startling hoot to see adults blithely go all the way with adolescents with no concern whatsoever about the possible dire consequences of their actions. Enjoyable merry smut."
To an extent, the website Rock Sock Pop seems to share Mr. Anders's opinion about the instant non-masterpiece, and says, "Revolting Teens is amusing enough. It's light on plot but heavy on sex and goofy highjinks with Reems doing his usual schtick and the ladies giving their all. Mathieu steals the show as the principal and looks great too. Helen Madigan's presence is always welcome and Eric Edwards proves to be almost as good as Reems when it comes to goofy comedy. Ultimately if this is no lost classic it's a fun, light watch equal parts amusing and sexy."
The other two moustaches on screen belong to Jeffrey Hurst and hunka-hunka man John Buco... As is the case with Jeffrey Hurst (see: The Russians Are Coming!), the Rialto Report, the inexhaustible historians of the Golden Age, recently found and spoke with the long-lost John Buco in their piece John Buco: The Double Life of Water Power's Mystery Man. In regard to Harry Reems, in that interview Buco had the following to say: "Harry Reems was easy to talk with, he was open. He was an A-type personality. All that energy was constantly there, so you got it all. But he was a funny guy. He was very comfortable in his skin. I recall easy, fun times, even working with him. [...]"
In our search for info about Revolving Teens, we were able to confirm at least three locations where it was officially screened on a silver screen. For one, it was screened as a "co-hit" with Honeypie (1976) and The Story of Joanna (1976) — the latter possibly the porn film debut of Zebedy Colt (20 Dec 1929 – 29 May 2004) — at the obscure Hut Adult Theatre 2410 San Mateo Pl., New Mexico; on 10 Oct 1974, it was part of a double feature with Shaun Costello's Tycoon's Daughter (1973) at the forgotten Buena Vista Cinema in California, and in '76 at the Aardvark-Termite Twin in Chicago, where the Aardvark screened the possibly now-lost Switchcraft (1973) and Ed Wood's Necromania (1971), and the Termite screened Revolving Teens with the unknown Teen Age Runaways (Carter Stevens' Punk Rock [1977], which later got re-released as Teenage Runaways, hadn't been made yet). But for Teen Age Runaways and Switchboard, all the mentioned pre-Brazilian porn films can easily be found online.

Bedroom Bedlam
(1973, dir. Joey Lambert)
For a long time the director of this one-day wonder was generally considered "unknown", but somewhere along the line it got credited to a "Joey Lambert". At the Rialto Report, for example, Jeffrey Hurst in Fade To Blue: The Accidental Porn Star by Jeffrey Hurst also claims that the man who told the cast what to do was Joey Lambert, adding that he was "an X-rated filmmaker who would eventually work himself into mainstream films" — what mainstream film they are, we know not: "Joey Lambert" seems to have worked under a pseudonym. Hurst, in any event, describes Bedroom Bedlam as "a crude Marx Brother-esque, bedroom farce starring Tina Russell and Georgina Spelvin."
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, Reems appears in the movie, but the fact is that Martinko simply mistook mustaches — and there are many in the film, not just Hurst's. Upper-lip hair was also found on co-star "Guy Thomas", for example. "Guy Thomas", seen sneering directly above is actually some guy named Mark Suben, a former district attorney of New York's Cortland County, who now is in his 70s and both regrets and apologizes for his porno past.
But to look at the misattributed film anyways, Vintage Archive offers the following blow-by-blow account of the movie: "Sylvie (Tina Russell) sees her husband Doug (Jason Russell) off to work. As soon as Doug leaves, she calls her lover, Bernie (Jeffery Hurst), and invites him over. Stanley (Guy Thomas), the apartment superintendent, shows up to fix a leak. Sylvie starts to do him, and Bernie arrives. Stanley hides in the bathroom. Sylvie and Bernie get it on, and Pauline the maid (Any Mathieu) comes in to clean. Bernie hides in the closet, and Sylvie leaves to go shopping. As Pauline is cleaning, she finds Bernie in the closet. Bernie fucks Pauline. Then, Doug, the husband, comes home from the office with his lover (Georgina Spelvin). Bernie and Pauline hide in the closet. Doug and his lover fuck. Then, Doug and Sylvie's daughter, Susie (Valerie Marron) comes home from school. Doug's lover hides in the bathroom, and Doug goes back to work. Doug's lover and Stanley get it on in the bathroom. Pauline the maid comes out of the closet, and she and Susie get it on. George (LeviRichards), Susie's boyfriend, comes over. Susie and Pauline fuck George. Doug's girlfriend sneaks out of the bathroom and hides in the closet with Bernie. Sylvie comes home, and Susie and Pauline hide in the bathroom with Stanley, while George hides in the closet with Doug's girlfriend and Bernie. Bernie and George do Doug's girl, and Susie and Pauline do Stanley. Doug comes home, and he and Sylvie finally go at it. As Sylvie is doing Doug, everyone sneaks out — except Stanley. When Doug gets up to take a shower, he finds Stanley hiding in the tub. Stanley says to Doug 'I fixed the leak!', and runs out, leaving Doug to confront his wife, who just shrugs. Confused? Watch it. It's hilarious."
Going by the crappy jpg above, Bedroom Bedlam (lower left on the page above) made it to La La Land, where it was screened at the Cave Theatre and Yale Theatre in 1973. The film it was screened with, Overexposed, was probably not the 1956 film noir starring Bad Gal Cleo Moore (31 Oct 1929 – 25 Oct 1973), Over-Exposed.
Trailer to
Over-Exposed (1956):

(1973, dir. Shaun Costello & Bill Markle)
A lost film, unless Sean Cunningham (Friday the Thirteenth [1980 / trailer]) has it in his garage.
Over at imdb, the director and scriptwriter Shaun Costello explains the movie: "In 1972 porno was all the rage, and we thought that a documentary, or docudrama about the making of XXX rated films might just be successful at the box office. The actors who participated in the shooting of the loops were: Myself, Harry Reems, Fred Lincoln, Lucy Grantham, Sargeant Tina, and several gypsies. The footage turned out to be hilarious, but it needed another element in order to hold an audience's interest for feature length. I wrote a story about a filmmaker, who was making porno on the side, unbeknownst to Mrs. Filmmaker. [...] We intercut the new dramatized scenes of the filmmaker and his wife with the original documentary footage of the making of porno loops, and the result was a feature-length docudrama, or docucomedy called Loops. In the fall of 1972 Bill Markle and I began the process of screening our project for potential distributors. [...] During one of the screenings, Sean Cunningham began weeping. He saw Loops as the story of his life, right down to having the same first name as the main character. (Me.) So Bill and I sold the picture to Cunningham. [...] Cunningham opened Loops to mixed reviews and pretty negative box office. This movie seems to have completely disappeared from the face of the earth."
This negative film review above, from the 03 Aug 1973 issue of New York's Daily News, is an example of a review, we would say, from someone who probably should have stuck to reviewing Disney flicks. The good sir, current crime novelist Jerry Oster, caught the film at the First Avenue Screening Room (@61st St. in NYC) during its limited run of 2–8 August 1973. "The First Avenue Screening Room was small cinema that opened on 1st Ave [at 61st St.] on May 17, 1973 with Memories of Underdevelopment (1968 / trailer). It was [...] known for presenting neglected, hard-to-market, and shelved films of merit. [...] On March 19, 1975, it was renamed Byron Theatre and operated as a gay adult movie theatre, opening with The Devil and Mr. Jones (1974). The Byron Cinema became the Eastworld Cinema in 1980 to 1981. In 1982 until 1990 it operated as Art East Cinema. In 1991 it was briefly renamed York Cinema and played regular recent movies, and then went back to the Art East Cinema name until it closed in 1994. [Cinema Treasures]"
Plot to The Devil and Mr. Jones: "Young Buck commits suicide and is tested to decide if he should go to Heaven or Hell. [Gay Erotic Video Index]" Somewhere along the way, someone gets fisted with a studded glove.
Has nothing to do with
Loops nor The Devil and Mr. Jones
Aurelio Voltaire's The Devil and Mr. Jones:
Returning to Loops: of the cast, two names — Lucy Grantham & Fred J. Lincoln — had starred the year previously in Cunningham & Wes Craven's horror classic, The Last House on the Left (1972). Interestingly enough, Lincoln considered Last House the worst one he ever made, while Grantham remains proud of the movie.
Intensive Care
(1974, dir. David Sear)

One of only two known movies officially credited to David Sear as director (at least at the imdb & iafd), the other being the decidedly odd one-day wonder Ape Over Love (1974). For more on that film, see Part III, where we also present evidence that Sears may have also directed the Pleasure Cruise (maybe '71 or '73 or '74), starring Reems & Andrea True (26 July 1943 – 7 Nov 2011). 
Long version of Andrea True's second hit single,
N.Y., You Got Me Dancing (1977):
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "This corny, burlesque-style medical sex comedy with lots of Jewish humor stars Harry Reems as Dr. Scrotum. Nurse Nookie takes care of needy patients like Bobby Astyr, who got his 'schmeckel' caught in a meat grinder at the delicatessen." Dr. Scrotum even tries to raise the dead at one point.
Cast, aside from Harry Reems: Don Allen, Georgina Spelvin, Darby Lloyd Rains, Mary Stuart (23 Nov 1949 – 12 Apr 2013), Cindy West, Marc Stevens (2 Sept 1943 – 28 Jan 1989) and Bobby Astyr (14 Nov 1937 – 7 Apr 2002).
If nowhere else, Intensive Care was obviously screened as part of a double feature with a "second adult hit", Spaced Out, at the Exotic Cinema in Dayton, Ohio, which was less a theatre than a bookstore with a screening room. (Annual membership only $1!)
Needless to say, that "second hit" was not the British sci-fi sex comedy Outer Touch (1979 / trailer), poster above, which got renamed Spaced Out somewhere along the way, but the 1971 one-day wonder Spaced Out (full NSFW film) from Director Unknown starring Suzanne Fields and Nora Wieternik, both of whom seemed to have left the biz after appearing (as Dale Ardor and Queen Amora, respectively) in the grindhouse classic, Flesh Gordon (1974 / trailer).
The plot of Director Unknown's Spaced Out: "Suzanne Fields stars as a junkie, Cleo, who ditches her good-guy loser boyfriend (Gerard Broulard) for her pusher with perfect hair (Steven Jaworski). [Video Zeta One]"
Emil Dean Zoghby's music to the British
Outer Touch a.k.a. Spaced Out:

Girl in a Penthouse
(1974, dir. Mike Felix)
Maybe also known as Girls in the Penthouse, but is not to be confused with Erwin C. Dietrich's Penthouse Playgirls (1972), poster above, a.k.a. White Slavers, Congressional Playgirls and, in the original German, Die Mädchenhändler, poster below — something we point out so as to have a few images to present. (BTW: Temple of Schlock hates Dietrich's movie.)
When it comes to finding anything about this seventies slice of obscure porn, things start with the problem that the different base sources don't even agree on the film's name: In The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, author Jason S. Martinko, like the folks at the imdb, speak of [multiple] Girls in the Penthouse; the iafd, however, speaks of the singular Girl in the Penthouse, as do other sources (including advertisements found in old copies of Psychotronic Video). But whether one or more girls, we would say it's safe to say that the film is/was a one-or-two-day wonder. It might possibly also be a lost film, but the trailer is out there somewhere: in 2002 it was included in Something Weird's X-rated trailer compendium Bucky's '70s Triple XXX Movie House Trailers Vol. 18 (2002).
"Mike Felix" never made another movie, as far as we can tell; the name is assumedly a pseudonym. A long and hard search of the web on 08 Feb 2021 resulted in the discovery of a single sentence that led to a non-existent website: "As a full-fledged director he guided Harry Reems through Girl in a Penthouse, a hard core epic, and Jennifer Welles and Roz Kelly in an R-rated film, The Female Response (1973, above with Harry Reems). Then he wanted to do a gay film but it was hard to get anybody to take a chance on him." (As of 4 May 2021, even that quote can no longer be found.) Assuming there is any validity to that sentence, then the director would be Tim Kincaid (born Tim Gambiani). 
The possibility that "Mike Felix" is Kincaid and that this film is his is minute but possible. Kincaid was in NYC around that time, as we mentioned when writing of Kincaid & The Female Response in Part III: "In regard to [The Female Response], over at Fangoria Kincaid explained the inspiration to the film as follows: 'I was sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my ride to Boston, where I was booked for a couple of weeks of extra/stunt-driving work in The Boston Strangler (1968 / trailer), when I read a New York Times article about the burgeoning soft-porn industry. I instantly decided that was how I'd get my foot in the door as a director.'"
True, Girl in a Penthouse probably isn't "soft-porn", but Kincaid has never been adverse to hardcore, as he eventually had no problem finding the funding for hardcore gay films: as the legendary gay-porn director Joe Gage, "the porn poet of the queer working class", he helmed a loose trilogy of hardcore queer classics in a row: Kansas City Trucking Co. (1976, with Jack Wrangler [11 July 1946 – 7 Apr 2009] and Richard Locke*), El Paso Wrecking Corp. (1978, with Fred Halsted [17 Jul 1941 – 9 May 1989] & Locke), and L.A. Tool & Die (1979, with Casey Donovan [2 Nov 1943 – 10 Aug 1987]). During the 80s, he was also a productive director of extremely low grade, R-rated grindhouse exploiters, his most (in)famous probably being Breeders (1986) or Robot Holocaust (1987 / trailer).
The GIF found to the right between Trailers of Promise and Babes of Yesteryear is of studmuffin Locke (11 June 1941 – 25 Sept 1996) and non-studmuffin Steve Boyd (12 May 1951 – 2 Mar 2004), in Kansas City Trucking Co.
Trailer to Tim Kincaid's

All that fine and dandy, but aside from that one sentence online, we could find no supporting proof that Tim Kincaid is/was "Mike Felix". Anyone out there know?
There is, at least, a general agreement on the cast of the movie: though we know not their roles, Daniel "Grey Pubes" Harin — see His Loving Daughter further above — is there, as is Harry Reems and Arlana Blue. The only plot description we could find anywhere (which describes a love triangle of sorts) is as follows: "A sexy, young New Yorker has everything she needs — a sugar daddy to take care of her and young lover to REALLY take care of her."
Hmmm, maybe we do know their respective roles...
Hotel Hooker
(1974, dir. Shaun Costello as "Warren Evans")
A.k.a. Hotel Hookers. According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "Harry Reems' name appears in the credits, but he's not in the movie." Indeed, the one-day wonder actually features Davey Jones, Eric Edwards, Marc Stevens (2 Sept 1943 – 28 Jan 1989), Margery "Mary" Stewart, Russ Carlson, Tammy Tilden and Toni Scott. Toni Scott is seen (barely) in some orgy scenes in one of our fave films, Hardgore (1975), while Mary "Margery" Stewart also appeared in Costello's The Sensuous Fly Girls (1976), a fact we mention only as an excuse to present the fun poster below. 
A cheap 2014 DVD release says the following on the DVD's back cover: "What better way to get yourself a piece of ass then [sic] to go the [sic] hotel where the bed is only moments away. A price is arranged and off you go to the races fucking a gal who makes fucking her business. Enjoy!" 
Over at Sweet Soundtrack, they add "A man gets more than he paid for at his local brothel" and claim that among the songs used (one assumes without permission) on the soundtrack is...
Carol King
thinking about Harry Reems?

One Night at a Time
(1984, dir. "Ned Morehead")
(We ask: What man doesn't ne[e]d more head?) We took a look at Girls of the Night, the other 1984 porn project directed by "Ned Morehead", in Part V. As it says at hot movies, "This is one seriously classic 80's flick. With big hair, hairy bushes and lots of lip gloss. You don't want to miss this feature where neighbors teach each other to be bad." Made during the last year of "the Golden Age of Porn" (1969–1984), and it shows. "Morehead", BTW (and according to the iafd), is a pseudonym for the equally pseudonymous "Darrel Lovestrange".
A take-off of the then-popular TV series One Day at a Time (1975–1984), the notable names of the cast (as far as we are concerned) includes Colleen Brennan, Robert Kerman (of Cannibal Holocaust [1980]), and the omnipresent Jamie Gillis. Harry has a scene with Mai Lin, one of the first porn stars of Chinese descent. 
The plot, as given by Anonymous at imdb: "When she turns into a single mother, Maggie (Colleen Brennan a.k.a. Sharron Kelly) is relieved by her Asian neighbor Mandy (Mai Lin) via an intimate massage. Masseur Ramone (Robert Kerman) is eventually brought in to assist them. When Maggie goes out, her couch hosts her daughters Amy (Karen Summer) and Dorothy (Desiree Lane) and their respective dates, Dan (Shone Tayler) and Marshall (Steve Powers). When a Telegram Man (Randy West) wants his tip, he lets Amy and Dorothy gag and bind him for an alternative payment. Mandy takes handyman Louis (Harry Reems) to her apartment to seduce him. He tries to run away, until her dildo collection reminds him of his utility belt. Finally, Maggie is in bed with Mitchell (Jamie Gillis)." Sounds like a porn movie. 
"Masseur Ramone", or Robert Kerman (16 Dec 1947 – 27 Dec 2018), also known as R. Bolla, had a notable career in non-porn grindhouse products, perhaps most notably as the lead in the unpleasant classic Cannibal Holocaust (1980). 
Main theme to
(1984, dir. Marga Aulbach & Jack Remy)
We already took a look at this flick in 2014, in Harry Reems Part VII, where we have it listed as from 1988, oddly enough, so its accepted release date seems to have changed since 2014. We really don't have much to add here... other than that since then, someone was nice enough to upload a version of the film's theme song onto YouTube. Let us share it with you here...
 Title track:
Sung by the unknown Nina Lark, it's a "a tearful ballad Anne Murray would have given her left tit to warble back in her heyday! (Distribpix)" Nina Lark followed this song up a year later, in 1985, with the title track to the hand-helper I Thought You Would Never Ask and then seems to have disappeared, much like the composer of both songs, Daniel Bowles.
Wet, Wild and Wicked
(1984, "dir." Thomas Paine)
When, exactly, Reems initially retired from making porn is a bit difficult to say because so many of his films were released late, re-released with new titles, or cut into "new projects" that it almost seems that he never left the biz. But, if one is to believe the 28 Nov 1982 article published in the Kansas City Star, he stopped fucking on film after his (later overturned) conviction in 1976 and didn't return until Society Affairs in 1982 (see Part V) — just in time to watch the Golden Age of the pornographic film make its last gasps (with films like Roommates [1982]) and then limp into the sunset years of D2V video fodder. This D2V piece o' product here is fairly typical of the fuck films to follow: less a film than simply scenes from other movies and/or indiscriminate sex scenes stitched together with a plot one step away from plotless.
And the plot here? As if... "A virtual romp through the sex-soaked escapades of several summer lovers who provide relief in and out of the cabana! They enjoy their sex hot, wild and messy." Harry has one scene, with Becky Savage* and Colleen Brennan, shot for the "movie"... 
* Becky Savage, BTW, is found in one of the truly original and intriguing arty & "new wave" porn projects of the twilight years of the Golden Age, a real movie much more worth watching than X-rated fodder like Wet, Wild and Wicked: the oddly anti-sex, sci-fi porn movie Café Flesh (1982). 
Almost the final scene of
Café Flesh (1982):

Not Reemed enough? 
Then go to Addendum Part IV: 1985-86!