R.I.P.: Harry H. Novak, Part II – 1956 to 1964

12 January  1928 — 26 March  2014

"When I was a kid, my Daddy told me, 'There's a buyer for everything.' And I lived to find out that he was right."
Harry H. Novak

Harry H. Novak, alongside David F Friedman (24 December 1923 — 14 February 2011) one of the great (s)exploitation kings of the last half of the 20th century, died 26 March 2014 at the age of 86.

A detailed career review of all the projects Harry H. Novak — as Boxoffice International, Valiant International Pictures, Harry N Novak Productions and one assumes other still undocumented firm names — foisted upon the American public would be Sisyphean task at best and hardly possible, as no full and unequivocal list exists. What follows is a review of the films that we found that, for the most part, probably had Novak involved somewhere along the way — and some that may not have. It is definitely not a complete list, and definitely not infallible, it is merely culled from sources reliable and unreliable that we found online. We also in no way suggest that the given release dates are the correct ones, they are merely the first ones we found.

If you know any we missed, feel free to send the title...

Girls Without Rooms
(1956, dir. Arne Ragneborn)

Aka Flamman. The earliest reference we could find of Harry Novak being involved with a specific film was on Wikipedia, which states "After dubbing and distributing a 1956 Swedish melodrama about a 'bad girl' in a reformatory under the name Girls Without Rooms to limited but respectable grosses, Novak's earliest film productions fell into the 'nudie cutie' category." At imdb, nL (ni_la2000@hotmail.com) explains with fine foreign English: "Fransiska (Catrin Westerlund) is visited by a social worker when she's in the custody. She tells him her lives story, about her mother who was an alcoholic, her father a night watchman and how she and her five year old little sister was left. Her boyfriend was unemployed and needed money and to help him she stole money."

 Swedish Trailer to
Flamman:

 

Geisha Playmates
(1960, dir. Tetsuo Takata)

 

A big maybe at best when it comes to Novak's participation, but the movie does have a nice poster. The now-deleted Something Weird VHS of the Novak project The Notorious Concubines (1969) included, as an extra, a variety of trailers to other state-side releases of Japanese films, including the Harry Novak distributed Boneless (1968), Naked Pursuit (1968) and The Slave Widow (1967). Could it not possibly be that the sticky fingers of Harry Novak also touched the other two Nippon films presented, Geisha Playmates (1960) and The Weird Lovemakers (1960)? For the benefit of doubt, let's look at Geisha Playmates — not that there is anything definite to find online about this movie.

We believe that this "documentary" film was directed by Tetsuo Takata and may have originally been titled "Tokyo odori". Emovieposter says: "Geisha Playmates, the 1960 Japanese showgirl sexploitation movie ('The story of a beautiful model from the FLESH-POTS of TOKYO') featuring '300 Gorgeous Show Girls'. We were unable to find any information about this movie. If anyone knows more about this, please e-mail us and we will post it here."

Among the performances presented was the Shochiku Kagekidan Girls Revue — seen above from the Marlon Brando movie Sayonarra (1957 / trailer) — which specialized in transgender performances long before the concept of transgender entered mass comprehension.

The Weird Lovemakers
(1960, dir. Koreyoshi Kurahara)

The now-deleted Something Weird VHS of The Notorious Concubines included, as an extra, a variety of trailers to other stateside releases of Japanese films, including the Harry Novak distributed Boneless (1968), Naked Pursuit (1968) and The Slave Widow (1967). Could it not possibly be that the sticky fingers of Harry Novak also touched the other two Nippon films presented, Geisha Playmates (1960) and The Weird Lovemakers (1960)? For the benefit of a super-tiny doubt — hell, the poster below even lists Radley H Metzger (see: The Cat & the Canary [1979]) as presenting the movie — let's look at The Weird Lovemakers — originally entitled Kyonetsu no kisetsu and aka The Warped Ones, Season of Heat and Wild Love-Makers.

Although this movie is basically a JD movie, it is hardly the traditional and low-aiming sexploitation movie it was sold as to the American masses; indeed, its director, Koreyoshi Kurahara, was an extremely successful and respected filmmaker in Japan. Mondo Digital explains the plot of "The Warped Ones, originally released [...] as The Weird Lovemakers (a title it retained during its brief VHS tenure from Something Weird Video). Tamio Kawaji (Youth of the Beast [1963 / trailer]) pulls out all the stops here as Akira, a ferocious teenager hellbent on kicks and picking pockets with the accompaniment of his friend Masaru (Go) and a maniacal young hooker, Fumiko (Matsumoto). Together they set out for revenge against the reporter who landed Akira in a reformatory, even molesting and kidnapping his girlfriend on the beach. Things continue to spiral out of control, reaching a fevered pitch at an abortion clinic where the whole world seems to come crashing down. Frenetic, outrageous, and fueled by an aggressive jazz score Toshir Mayuzumi, this film grabs you by the throat in the opening seconds and never lets go; there would certainly be later j.d. films, of course, including more than a couple in Britain starring Malcolm McDowell, but none are quite like this one."

 Trailer:

 

The Touchables
(1961, dir. Monte Mann & Jay Sheridan)

Not to be mistaken with 20th Century Fox's The Touchables, from 1968. In the case of this movie here, from 1961, the title and poster, at least, are an obvious spoof of the then still aired and popular TV series, The Untouchables (1959–1963). At imdb, way back in 2003, Andrew Leavold (trash@trashvideo.com.au) of Brisbane, Australia, said: "Early nudie-cutie set on a fat farm instead of a nature camp, crammed with sped-up sight gags and cornball vaudeville routines, and one of the earliest in Box Office International's garden of earthy pleasures. First up we're treated to a swimming costume parade around a swank poolside as a singer croons, 'You're so...Touchable'. Our narrator, self-proclaimed schnook Fred Barf (Billy Holms), takes us back thirty years, when affable low-rent gangsters Monk [John Dennis] and Louie [Brad Logan] (alias Smith and Jones) threaten schnook accountant Fred to cook their books. This inflames his moral sensibilities, sending the uncooked books (and their $65,000 tax bill!) to the IRS. Now on the run from Monk and Louie, the schnook is sneaked unknowingly into the 'Fat Chance' Rejuvenation Center, and does all manner of bug-eyed double takes from the bushes and behind exercise machines, as he ogles a pornucopia of showgirls and society dames in various states of undress. 'Fat Chance' worker Jessie (Claire Brennen, later in David F. Friedman's She Freak [1967 / trailer]) takes pity on the schnook cowering in a panty hamper and helps him escape from Monk and Louie, now disguised as the two ugliest broads at the clinic, and an army of showgirls who have discovered what's under Fred's towel. The film rests squarely on TV comic (???) Billy Holms' spindly frame, which serves as the main target of the cheapshots — a masseuse, thinking he's a she, looks down at his chickenbone ribcage and says 'You poor thing! No wonder you didn't want to take off your towel'."

Also from 1961 —
Dickie Goodmann, The Touchables in Brooklyn:

According to an article about Novak written by Gene Ross in an early issue of AVN — Adult Video News (reprinted in Masque), one of the rumors spread by Novak to publicize the film was that Woody Allen was the true author of the script.

Trailer:

The Touchables 1961-trailer von pogox
 

The Ruined Bruin
(1961, writ & dir John K. McCarthy)

Though filmed the same year as Russ Meyer's much more well-known Eve and the Handyman (1961 / 3 minutes), Novak "presented" this nudie-cutie some years later after the success of Kiss Me Quick. According to an article on Novak by Gene Ross (in issue 2?), AVN — Adult Video News (reprinted in Masque), Novak, in need of more product to follow KMQ, struck a deal with Rossmore Films (headed by Maryt Ross and Ted Paramore, the latter aka "adult movie" director Harold Lime, a man with a penchant for S&M porn) to distribute their productions; The Ruined Bruin was one such production.

 

We were unable to find out much about the plot, but in his book Profoundly Erotic: Sexy Movies that Changed History, Joe Bob Briggs blithely says it tells a tale "in which twenty-one girls are pawed by a bear". Of the movie's "stars", as far as we can tell only two seemed to have done further films: Myron Griffin (as "Buddy") went on to be seen in the background of films like Superchick (1973 / trailer), while Maureen Janzen (as "The Nurse") was a She-Demon in Richard E. Cunha's She Demons (1958 / trailer), starring Irish McCalla (visit her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, at 1722 Vine Street). 

Speaking of buxom babes like McCalla, Ted Paramore aka Harold Lime was once married to Betty Blue (14 August 1931 — 23 August 2000), Playmate of the Month in the November, 1956, issue of Playboy. That's her smoking below.

  The Wild and the Naked
(1962, dir. Stan Roberts)

 

The credits say "Filmed in Latin America," but both Frank Henenlotter and imdb say it was filmed in Texas. On an (out-of-date) list of Something Weird releases found here, this movie is listed as having been produced by Harry Novak; we have out doubts, but what the heck, who are we to disagree?

Cult Movie Reviews says: "The Wild and the Naked is a strange little slice of US sexploitation dating from 1962. [...] Paulette ('Tina French') is a French nude model living in the US. We see her driving off to a modeling session, then taking a break and having a nap. She falls asleep and has a strange dream, and that's pretty much what the movie consists of. She has all manner of odd adventures in her dream, and somehow she just always seems to end up naked. She encounters the usual hazards that you expect to come across while wandering through an American forest — gorillas, naked jungle girls, cute men, sex-crazed hermits. [...] To be honest it starts to drag after a while, at least until the arrival of the go-go dancing nude jungle girls. That adds the kind of surreal touch the movie needs. [...] There's a bondage scene where the ex-crazed hermit ties up poor Paulette, but it's done in such a bizarre manner that it's hard to find it offensive — it's just much too silly, and it is after all only a dream. [...]."

Scriptwriter Enrique Madariaga went on to work with Dale Berry, who has nothing to do with this film, on Passion in the Sun (1964) and The Hot Bed (1965), a fact we mention only as an excuse to include the following excerpt from Dale Berry's 1967 sleazefest, Hip Hot and 21. 

Scene from
Dale Berry's Hip Hot and 21:

 

 Knockers Up
(1963, dir Peter Perry Jr. [as A.J. Gaylord]) 

Another movie on the list due to benefit of doubt. In Gutter Auteur: The Films of Andy Milligan, author Rob Craig offers the following tidbit: "Harry Novak, another prolific sexploitation distributor whose remarkable career eventually contained over 200 exploitation films, started his career with two nudie-cuties: Knockers Up (1963), featuring risqué nightclub comedienne and recording star Rusty Warren, and Kiss Me Quick (1964), considered by many the quintessential nudie-cutie, which successfully merged comedy, sex and horror elements into a most amazing grindhouse anomaly."

Whether or not Rusty Warren is indeed found in Knockers Up we have been unable to confirm, but if she is, it seems odd that she is not referred to on the poster, seeing what a drawing card her name would have been at the time. Still, it cannot be doubted that the filmmakers swiped the title of their film from the entertainer's second LP, likewise entitled Knockers Up. According to WFMU, "Knockers Up [the LP] spent a year in the top ten, one hundred and eighty-one consecutive weeks on the charts and, by the end of 1962, 1.5 million copies sold."

Rusty Warren —
Knockers Up:

And who is Rusty Warren? Well: "Against insurmountable odds, she [Rusty, née Ilene Goldman] went from tiny midwestern cocktail lounges to well-known Vegas showrooms and ascended to the heights of stardom without the help of radio, television or film. During a time when many women were content to embrace the role of submissive homemaker, Rusty was in nightclubs making fun of male hang-ups and advocating that women shed their shackles and embrace an appetite for sex. Warren has often been described as the 'Mother of the Sexual Revolution.' Some scholars have gone so far as to suggest that her song Bounce Your Boobies was what eventually convinced women to burn their brassieres en masse."

Rusty Warren —
Bounce Your Boobies:

As for the movie, the only plot description we could find was (once again) on TCM, which says: "Mr. Winkler (Sidney Saks), a voyeur, takes a Hindu potion that makes him invisible, and he has an office romance with his co-worker, Millie (Sandra Montez)."

The memorable Althea Currier (38 25 36), seen below, was also in Knockers Up as the "busty woman". Althea, a glamour model of the 60s who retired much too early to "settle down and raise a family", was seen in a variety of nudie-cuties and early sexploiters, including three (possibly four) Russ Meyer flicks: Erotica (1961), Heavenly Bodies! (1963), Lorna (1964 / scene) and (maybe) The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959).

 
Another Movie with Althea Currier,
Loel Minardi's Sinderella and the Golden Bra (1964):

 

Sexy Proibitissimo
(1963, dir Osvaldo Civirani & Marcello Martinelli)

 

Assuming that a Something Weird double feature of Harry Novak films would, in turn, present trailers to more Novak films, we look at the "Bra-Busting Sexploitation Trailers" presented in Harry Novak presents Street of a Thousand Pleasures / Way Out Topless: Street of a Thousand Pleasures, Forbidden Beauties, International Smorgasbroad, Paris Topless, Sexy Proibitissimo, Substitution and The Wonderful World of Girls. Of them, three (Street of a Thousand Pleasures [1972], Substitution [1970] and The Wonderful World of Girls [1965]) are known to have been pies in which Novak had his fingers, the rest we see as open to question — but, for the benefit of the doubt, we'll count them as having been fondled by Harry Novak. So, let's take a look at Sexy Proibitissimo, aka Prohibited Sex, Verbotene Frauen — Verbotene Nächte, The Most Prohibited Sex and many more names.

 

Of its two directors, it seems to be Marcello Martinelli's only known film, but Osvaldo Civirani went on to do other fun stuff like Voodoo Sexy (1975 / 1st NSFW 44 minutes), Kindar the Invulnerable (1965 / full movie), and The Devil Has 7 Faces (1971).

 Italian Trailer to
Osvaldo Civirani's The Devil Has 7 Faces (1971):

An extremely obscure film, Sexy Proibitissimo is yet another "documentary" of sorts that everyone released (or re-released) on the heels of the success of GualtieroJacopetti (and Franco E. Prosperi and Paolo Cavara)'s Mondo Cane (1962 / trailer), but not extreme enough to be a true "shockumentary". In Sexy Proibitissimo, the filmmakers mix fiction with "reality", going by what Classic Horror says: "A nude musical that features Count Dracula, the Frankenstein monster, Martians, cavemen and an astronaut in some cabaret sequences."

 

At imdb, Paul Petroskey (weirdpaulp@yahoo.com), of Pittsburgh, Pa, raves: "This Italian 'documentary' is the best stripping movie I have ever seen. It stages stripteases through the ages: a cavewoman, during the French Revolution, biblical times, ancient Egypt, etc., etc., all the way up to the future (a striptease for aliens on another planet). The narration is witty, the girls are beautiful. There could be little more you'd want in such a film."

The usually jaded lor of New York City seems to agree, saying "Sexy Proibitissimo puts to shame the many American striptease features of the '50s and '60s, playing at adult cinemas. [...] Format is simple: one vignette after another showing how the fairer sex used striptease to attract and/or subjugate the male of our species, dating from caveman times to a futuristic (in 1963) scene on the moon featuring a stripping cosmonaut ogled by tentacled (and presumably horny) aliens. [...] What makes this a superior example of the genre is the casting of beautiful women who all dance — each striptease is a real routine, not just shedding of clothes. The costumes, sets and lighting are all pro, not the canned proscenium arch shooting style of so many tedious American burlesque movies. This being 1963 the girls only go topless, with the best-built beauty playing a spider lady oddly enough the only one who retains pasties at the end of her act. [...] Jazzy musical score is a plus, including an excellent imitation of Dave Brubeck's classic Take Five [...].

Dave Brubeck's classic
Take Five:

 

Queens Wild
(1963, dir. Unknown)

We could find little online about this 67-minute nudie-cutie, one of the various older films that Novak took on from Rossmore Films after the success of Kiss Me Quick, not even a poster. But we were able to find out that it was featured in the summer 65 issue of Modern Man Quarterly (pictured above) and that the film itself featured the famous, 100% natural topless model and "actress" Virginia "Ding Dong" Bell (1932 — 1 July 2010); aside from countless pneumatic but not-pornographic loops, she also appeared the movies Fräulein Doktor (1969 / title track) and Bell, Bare and Beautiful (1963), the last of which was the product of Herschell Gordon Lewis and David Friedman.

Virginia Bell and Her Ding Dongs
in Two Bells for Virginia:

 


Forbidden Beauties
(1964, dir. Mino Loy)

Another Italo mondo documentary, original Italian title: Veneri proibite. Assuming that a Something Weird double feature of Harry Novak films would, in turn, present trailers to more Novak films, we look at the "Bra-Busting Sexploitation Trailers" presented in Harry Novak presents Street of a Thousand Pleasures / Way Out Topless: Street of a Thousand Pleasures, Forbidden Beauties, International Smorgasbroad, Paris Topless, Sexy Proibitissimo, Substitution and The Wonderful World of Girls. Of them, three (Street of a Thousand Pleasures [1972], Substitution [1972] and The Wonderful World of Girls [1965]) are known to have been pies in which Novak had his fingers, the rest we see as open to question — but, for the benefit of the doubt, we'll count them as have been fondled by Harry Novak. So, let's take a look at Forbidden Beauties.
It seems to be a movie that no one has seen, or if they have they haven't found it worth writing about online. The sadly under-appreciated Mino Loy made a lot of entertaining if third-rate shockumentaries, including this typically misogynistic one. (Yes, women are man-eating monsters.) Aside from directing mondo films, Loy was also active as a producer of fine Italo trash, including, among others, Umberto Lenzi's Cannibal Ferox (1981 / trailer) and Eaten Alive (1980 / trailer), Sergio Martino's All the Colors of the Dark (1972 / Italian trailer), Lamberto Bava's Devil Fish (1984 / trailer) and A Blade in the Dark (1983 / trailer).

 Trailer to
Forbidden Beauties:

Kiss Me Quick!
(1964, dir. Peter Perry Jr. [as Seymour Tuchus])

Trailer:

Originally filmed under the title Dr. Breedlove, or How I Stopped Worrying and Love — a blatant reference to Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1967 / trailer) — Novak later changed the the title to the less litigious Kiss Me Quick! Over at My Reviewer, they describe the movie as "a very weird sci-fi spoof where an alien (wearing what looks like a kitchen implement on his head) is dispatched to earth to research that mystery of all mysteries — women! After all, his boss thinks they would probably make ideal servants." Dave Sindelar is of the opinion that "If more nudies were this amusing, they might actually be worth watching."

 Sweater Girl Scene:

Kiss Me Quick Sweater Girl from MoviesAboutGirls on TnaFlix.

Lesbian SexSex Videos

The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare
(1964, writ & dir Sande N. Johnsen)

Aka Bloody, Bare, and Beautiful and The Beautiful and the Bloody. Video Vacuum says "The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare lives up to its title, but that's about it. At least ONE of the half dozen or so chicks is a beauty (the redhead... YOWZERS), the killer ends up all bloody in the end, and all the girls in the cast take their clothes off. So that's the good news. The bad news is that the movie is boring as hell because it's more or less 50 minutes of nude modeling (in a chair, on a couch, in a bubble bath, etc.) and 15 minutes of murdering. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Naked chicks and psycho killers; so what's not to like? Well, if that's the ONLY reason you're picking this up, you might enjoy it. [...]"

All Movie says the movie is a "standard nudie-horror film about a mad artist. Jack Lowe plays Peter, a photographer who comes to work at a friend's Greenwich Village studio. Lengthy scenes of demure nude models are followed by Peter being driven into a killing frenzy by the color red and strangling the women. By the end of the film, Peter is a raving, knife-wielding maniac, finally brought down after attacking his friend's wife." Actor Jack Lowe later appeared in Sande N. Johnsen 1966 movie, The Twisted Sex.

Trailer to
The Twisted Sex (1966):

Artist Studio Secrets
(1964, dir. J.M. Kimbrough)

As far as we can tell, this is the only movie Kimbrough ever made, but in 1987, J.M. Kimbrough appeared as one of the talking heads in Diane Keaton's bizarre directorial debut, Heaven.

Diane Keaton's
Heaven (1987):

Movies Unlimited has the plot: "Poor Percy Green (J.M. Kimbrough). He's an artist who only gets turned on when his female models are clothed, so his wife makes sure the lovelies parading before his palette all show up undressed in this masterpiece of campy Sixties softcore." The Psychotronic Guide notes that "one of the two models is cross-eyed", while lor of New York City calls the movie an "entertaining, extremely minor silent nudie", explaining "adult movie audiences were seriously starved for shots of skin in the early '60s. Artist Studio Secrets provides more than enough T&A to qualify as a diversion, and it has nostalgia value today. [The] film has some silly narration, but is mainly a repository of models doffing and putting back on their clothing for over an hour, mixed in with some pleasant historical shots of Greenwich Village. The director/star portraying the 'artist' hams it up for the duration, but his presence is not all that distracting from the pulchritude. [...] Film is more suggestive than its nudist-camp style ancestors in the genre, as evidenced by the two lead models exchanging massages — most of the nudies of this era were 'hands off' mode to avoid censorship. One of the most popular of the NY stable, Gigi Darlene, makes an uncredited appearance and steals the show with a very sexy dance."

Gigi Darlene, by the way, played the lead lass in Doris Wishman's great film, Bad Girls Go to Hell (1965):

Trailer to Doris Wishman's
Bad Girls Go to Hell:

Bad Girls Go to Hell | Doris Wishman | George LaRocque | Gigi Darlene | Movie Trailer | Review
 

Raw Weekend
(1964 Sidney Niehoff)

Thanks to www.emovieposter.com for above poster. The American Film Institute Catalog of Motion Pictures (Vol. 1, Pt. 1) explains the plot: "A small movie crew shooting a love scene in a wooded valley with Tammy and Pete, is surprised by the appearance of Dolores, a semi-nude woman who wanders through the background. The crew follows her, in hopes of photographing her for the motion picture. They find Dolores and her friend, Lee, sunbathing amidst the rocks and waterfalls, and the women invite the crew to picnic beside their cabin. After lunch Dolores and Lee row and swim in the lake while Tammy stays inside the cabin studying her script. Tammy grows restless, takes off her nightgown, and joins Dolores and Lee outside."
At MSN, Sandra Brennan of Rovi is of the opinion that Raw Weekend is "an example of the rather tame nudie films (featuring lots of bare bosoms but no sex) that predated their hard-core cousins."

My Tale Is Hot
(1964, dir. Peter Perry Jr. [as Seymour Tokus])

Full movie:

My Tale Is Hot von crazedigitalmovies 

Aka Always on Monday. Personally, we here at A Wasted Life have our doubts that Harry H. Novak had anything to do with this movie, as there is only one source, an online magazine called Funhouse, that claims he distributed it and all other sources tend to credit the film to the forgotten sleazemonger Dan Sonney (who once owned the mummified body of Elmer McCurdy). But My Tale is Hot is so comparable to the typical Harry H Novak product of the time, and it does share the same director as Kiss Me Quick! — Peter Perry Jr. [as Seymour Tokus] — so we'll give the benefit of doubt and present it here.

Harem Scene:

The plot, as given by some illegal download site: "Lucifer (Max Gardens, aka Manny Goodtimes, also of Kiss Me Quick!) is unhappy: too few new souls in Hell. So, he bets his wife Saturna ('Ima Ghoul') that he can get the world's most faithful husband, according to 'Ladies' House Companion' magazine, to forsake that faithfulness. Lucifer visits the husband, Ben-Her Ova (Jack Little), and his doting wife, Miassis ('Bea Reddy'). At first, none of Lucifer's ploys work: a backyard swimming pool with one bathing beauty, the same pool with two bathing beauties, a peek at the new maid. Then, Lucifer escorts Ben on a night on the town: will liquor, barmaids, a burlesque show, a hotel room, a Turkish bath, and a special commercial during Ben's favorite TV show (Walt Disney) finally turn Ben's head? What's the secret of his will power?"

 

My Tale is Hot incorporates a four-minute clip from the mid-50s of an "exotic dance" from the great Candy Barr (born Juanita Dale Slusher, 6 July 1935 — 30 December 2005) who, at the age of 16, starred in the infamous and extremely popular stag film Smart Alec (1951 / 10 NSFW silent minutes of the movie), thus earning herself the moniker of "the first porn star".

The Candy Barr Number Used in
My Tale Is Hot (NSFW) Set to Great Music:

Nudes Inc.
(1964, dir. Barry Mahon)

Possibly aka Broadway Pin-up Honeys, Pin-Up Camera and The Pin-up Factory. Yet again, we here at A Wasted Life have our doubts about to what extent Harry H. Novak had anything to do with this movie, but not only does the on-line magazine Funhouse believe Novak had his fingers in the pie, Rotten Tomatoes goes so far as the call this film "A Harry Novak sexploitation classic".
The plot, according to The American Film Institute Catalog of Motion Pictures (Vol. 1, Pt. 1): "Barbara Jo travels from her small southern hometown to New York and finds it difficult to find employment. Eventually she becomes desperate enough to call Nudes, Inc., the largest studio in the world producing pinup photographs. Barbara Jo is at first reluctant to pose in the nude, but Mr. Lewis, the managing director, gives her a tour of the studio and convinces her of the studio's legitimacy. Mr. Lewis points out that the models are also employed elsewhere as school teachers, airline stewardesses, housewives and professional models. Barbara is reassured, and after lunch she begins work."

Nudes Inc. was directed by Barry Mahon (and written by his wife Clelle Mahon); Mahon (5 February 1921 — 4 December 1999), one of the original prisoners at Stalag Luft III whose stories served for the film The Great Escape (1963 / trailer) — Mahon allegedly loosely inspired the character played by Steve McQueen — had a long career in fringe filmmaking made everything from nudie-cuties like this to roughies to documentaries like Musical Mutiny (1970 / trailer) to decidedly odd kiddy films like The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969).

Trailers to Barry Mahon's
The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969):

Wonderful LAND OF OZ! Trailer von NilbogLAND

Go here for Part III: 1965-66

Lost in Space (USA, 1998)

A remake that works better now 16 years after its initial release than when it first came out.

When viewed as a kiddy film, which it actually is, Lost in Space does become a bit more enjoyable, but nonetheless it seems to be lacking some unknown ingredient, the special zing needed to make it truly likeable.

The original television show, for all its verbal adherents, is actually much better in memory than in real life, as are the other "classic" Irwin Allen TV adventure series of the 1960s that we watched the most, The Land of The Giants (1968-70 / trailer) and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1964-68 / promo). And perhaps that's one of the reasons why the movie — despite being a financial success — was viewed as such a dud: adults, blinded by gold-tinged nostalgia, failed to see that despite all its flaws, the movie was simply a contemporary and updated kiddy film, a product of both new technical possibilities and new socio-cultural truths, but still meant for youngsters. Unable to live up to adult expectations, word-of-mouth remained lukewarm at best, with neither the nostalgic nor the children that came to watch it being overly thrilled by a film that not only feels like three episodes of a big-budget television show strung together but also has an ending promising a new episode next week.

Scriptwriter Akiva Goldsman is hardly the Hemingway of Hollywood, as such past turkey's as Silent Fall (1994 / trailer), Batman & Robin (1997 / German trailer) and the two abysmal hits I, Robot (2004 / trailer) and I Am Legend (2007 / trailer) have proven — films, one and all, that are far more entertaining as trailers and that offer testament in their success to the complacency and simplicity of the masses. Here, in Lost in Space, his big weakness of not being able to offer believable character development or narrative coherence is in full force. The lack of believable character development is also aggravated by some unbelievably weak acting on part of the cast, particularly Matt Le Blanc and Heather Graham (the latter of whom simply can't compete with the original Judy Robinson, Marta Kristen, who was perhaps just as bad an actress but somehow dreamier), while the lack of coherence is amplified by a plot that stuffs three noticeably separate stories into one film.

What Lost in Space (the film) needed more than all its special effects was the time (only a weekly format offers) for character development and continuity. On television, for example, it took months for Jonathon Harris's Dr. Smith to go from cold and calculating to campy and cowardly; in the movie, Gary Oldman has to flip-flop scene to scene – charismatically, perhaps, but still unconvincingly. That Lost In Space suffers greatly by not being a weekly is made even more obvious by the alternative scenes found on the DVD, which reveal an entire feel-good women's episode obviously (and rightly) deemed too schmaltzy and boring for the theatrical release, but which would have worked well for a weekly format in which all characters not only have to have their appearance but multiple storylines can be effectively narrated, and characters and their relationships can be shown to grow.

Among those with whom we watched the film, there were complaints that the characters had been updated a bit too much, with the kids using swear words and the parents having marital problems. We see that as hardly something to get upset about; indeed, in that regard the movie works much better than the following year's remake of The Avengers (1999 / trailer), which updated the proto-feminist, ass-kicking Emma Peel into a women eternally in need of (male) help. That pre-peach-fuzz Will (Jack Johnson) says "shit" is hardly something to get upset about, for even back in the 60s kids said it, if only more secretly. Likewise, that the new Family Robinson is somewhat dysfunctional is less a flaw than added realism: they have problems like every real family (and unlike the original television show), but unlike every real family, they talk, solve them and even get touchy-feely — besides, how dysfunctional can a family be if its 6-year-old can repair robots, their pre-teen bratty daughter can do video mechanics, and their oldest daughter (18? 21? 25?) is a medical doctor? Excuse me, if this family is dysfunctional, where are the drugs, emotionally dead relationships, alcohol, switchblades, incestuous parental figures, illiterate kids, runaways, disrespect, or even zits? Get real people, you wish your family was this good.

Lost in Space (the movie) is basically three episodes of Lost in Space (the television show) on speed and with a huge special-effects budget and some truly wonderful homoerotic S&M spacesuits. Opening with a rather unconvincing Star Wars inspired space shootout in which one of the film's reoccurring themes is first exemplified — that of friendship and responsibility — the first episode sets up the situation of why the Family Robinson is going off into space, where they are going, who the characters are, and what fucks up. (It also allows the nostalgic viewer to play "spot [four of] the original surviving cast members".) Basically, earth has no resources left and the next inhabitable solar system is ten years away with normal space travel, so Family Robinson is going there (in suspended animation) to build a "hyper-gate" to allow all future ships to travel there faster than light.

But, of course, terrorists are out to stop them. After programming the robot to destroy the Family Robinson 16 hours into the flight, Dr. Smith gets double-crossed by his superiors and knocked out, only to revive in time to wake the Family and prevent total destruction of the ship. Now trapped in the gravitational pull of the sun they are forced to use the hyper-drive and land in an unknown, uncharted universe, lost in space.

Thus the second episode cues in, which has them: discover two ships, find a cute alien that Penny (an excellent Lacey Chabert of Black Christmas [2006 / trailer], Sanitarium [2013 / trailer] and Ghost of Goodnight Lane [2014 / trailer]) eventually takes on as a pet, deal with nasty silicone space spiders out for food (?), have the robot destroyed, and barely escape with their lives. Oh, yeah, there's also some distracting sub-plot thing about how one of the ships they find is an earth ship sent to find them after their ship disappeared that raise more "huhs?" than it does intrigue.

Episode three has them crash land on a planet that is gonna explode, has the robot rebuilt in a form more true to the original series — admittedly a far cooler design than the contemporary one the robot started out with — and has all the men experience a really confusing and illogical adventure with time travel and alternative futures that ends with everyone getting away only to be pulled into a black hole taking them god knows where... episode four five and six would have happened, had it been decided by the powers that be that Lost in Space merited a sequel.

A children's film too all over the place for children to follow, Lost in Space still is more fun than such other unnecessary remakes of around the same time such as Flubber (1997 / trailer), The Nutty Professor (1996 / trailer), The Saint (1997 / trailer), or Doctor Dolittle (2001 / trailer), not to mention a much better updating of a television show than Star Trek — The Motion Picture (1979 / trailer) or the previously mentioned The Avengers, not to mention much truer to the original source than any of the sometimes enjoyable Mission: Impossible or Charlie's Angels films. In short, Lost in Space has too much action, too many special effects, too little time — despite a snooze-inducing and excessive running time of over two hours! Still, it's an okay film for a rainy Sunday afternoon with the kids, if your television screen is large enough.

I Bury the Living (USA, 1958)

Trailer:

We all have to start somewhere, and here is almost where B-movie producer and director Albert Band (7 May 1924 — 14 June 2002) began: I Bury the Living was his second directorial effort, a horror film after his mildly interesting debut, The Young Guns (1956), the latter of which is unique in being perhaps the first teenage-rebel western. (We'll conveniently overlook the very first credit of his we could find, that of c-scriptwriter of John Huston's The Red Badge of Courage [1951 / trailer].)

By the time Band had made his first two films, he had also already procreated, and he and his son Charles Band eventually went on to form the production company Empire Pictures and, after that firm collapsed, Charles went on to found Full Moon. The twenty fingers between them have been in many a pie, be it as producer or un-credited extra, including (to list only those reviewed here at A Wasted Life): Tourist Trap (1979), Re-Animator (1985), Creepozoids (1987), Shadowzone (1990), Castle Freak (1995), Head of the Family (1996), Blonde Heaven (1996), Retro Puppet Master (1999), Killjoy (2000) and The Dead Hate the Living! (2000).

With I Bury the Living, Band and his screenwriter Louis Garfinkle (who went on to one day supply the story for The Deer Hunter [1978 / trailer]) crafted an intriguing psychological horror story that, despite some directional dull spots and occasional questionable acting, definitely chills for almost the entire film — only to resolve in an ending that stinks worse than a diarrhea-soaked fart in a windowless subway on a hot summer day.

Filmed over nine days partly on location in a Los Angeles cemetery, I Bury the Living features a stalwart Richard Boone (of The Last Dinosaur [1977 / scene] and Vicki [1953 / trailer]) as the manly businessman, Robert Kraft, of the small town of Milford who, thanks to the vagaries of a local rotating advisory committee, takes over the management of the "Immortal Hills" cemetery just as the cemetery's friendly gravedigger of 40 years, Andy McKee (Theodore Bikel of 200 Motels [1971 / trailer]), is pensioned. The less-than-comfortable management office is dominated by a large map of the cemetery, almost modern art in its design, on which the empty and occupied graves are marked by, respectively, white or black pins. Kraft accidentally mixes up the colors of the pins when visited by an old friend and new wife, Stuart (Glen Vernon of I Saw What You Did [1965 / trailer] and So I Married an Axe Murderer [1993 / trailer]) and Elizabeth Drexel (Lynette Bernay of Night of Evil [1962 / trailer] and The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent [1957 / trailer]), and soon comes to realize that he can cause the death of others simply by placing a black pin on their plot on the map...

It is a power that he does not gladly have, and that no one he tells believes him, be it his ready-to-trot fiancé Ann Craig (Peggy Maurer), the police in the form of Lt. Clayborne (Robert Osterloh of The Prowler [1951 / trailer] and Wicked Woman [1953 / trailer]), the local reporter Jessup (Herbert Anderson), or his three business partners, which include his uncle George Kraft (Howard Smith, the narrator of Ecco [1964 / trailer]). But confronted with the power of God and an ever-increasing feeling of guilt, Robert slowly begins to lose his marbles — especially after the disastrous results of his business partners' unwise attempt to dissuade Robert of his conviction by forcing him to mark all their graves with black pins.

The story and its development of I Bury the Living is interesting and not lacking in suspense, and the movie often displays an effectively moody atmosphere and unnatural aura interjected by an occasional prick of black humor and, almost as rarely, an almost baroque twirling of a scene into black (symbolizing, one assumes, the whirlpool that is Robert's mind). In truth, most of the time Band's camerawork is rather staid if not almost boring and static, but the occasional experimental directorial touches like the twirl to black or overlapping dissolves are pleasant and do serve to break the monotony of the normally unmoving camera. A stroke of visual and symbolic brilliance, however, was his decision to make the map gradually larger with each scene it's in, a surrealistic touch that does well in symbolizing Robert's crumbling grasp on reality and the map's growing control over him.

Aspects like those mentioned manage to carry the film above the oft-weak acting turns of those involved. Richard Boone, a graduate of the John Wayne School of Acting, is no better or worse than normal, but as to be expected most of the surrounding B-actors are relatively stilted. Special mention must be made of Theodore Bikel, nominated for an Oscar the same year as this film for his appearance as Sheriff Max Muller in The Defiant Ones (1958 / trailer), who does an excellent job in regard to his facial and physical acting, but negates his whole performance with a hilariously incomprehensible and unconvincing Scottish brogue. What was he ever thinking, and how did he convince anyone it would work?

But then, one also wonders what the fuck they all were thinking when the film finally reaches its culminating plot twist that sets up its shockingly emasculated, cop-out resolution. At the point that Robert, following the logic that if he can kill them he must be able to bring them back, decides to test his power by replacing the black pins with white, I Bury the Living suddenly reveals a total disrespect for its viewers as well as the entire supernatural scenario established thus far. At the point upon which the gravestones topple and the ground is seen being pushed up from below, viewers are well advised to turn off the film and simply imagine the ending that they would like to see, for the real ending given is stupid, disgusting, aggravating and a total raspberry that ruins the movie.
And we mean: IT FUCKING RUINS THE MOVIE!!!!

Full film: