Okay, so this
month's short is an advertisement. It's not like Christmas isn't a purely
capitalist exercise nowadays, an event oriented alone towards emptying your
pockets and making you think you're happy and you're life is good. And it's not
like we haven't presented an advertisement as a Christmas short before, either:
check out our short film for December
2018: Beauty of Horror – Christmas
Claymation (USA, 2018). Advertisement.
But like that
claymation ad, this one here is special: it stars a claymation version one of
our favorite wet dreams from the early eighties of the last century: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. (Nowadays, when
looking back, we wonder how we ever managed to get past that big hair, but then
we see those haunting hills and we remember.)
Should you be
one of the few, the rare, who don't know who Elvira is, well, Bloody
Disgusting can fill you in: "[…] Elvira's Movie Macabre started in September of 1981 and ran for
five seasons, launching the B-movie queen to pop culture icon status in short
order. The first horror host to be syndicated nationally, Elvira's off-beat
sense of humor, quick wit, and Valley girl persona complemented the B-horror
movies featured in the episodes well. While she'd continue on to reign as the
Queen of Halloween for decades with multiple movies, books, shows, music CDs,
and more, Elvira eventually returned to Elvira's
Movie Macabre for a revival in September of 2010. This time the films
chosen were in public domain."
Aside from her presence on television, Elvira
can be found in two highly entertaining movies, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988 / trailer) and Elvira's Haunted Hills (2001
/ trailer). When Elvira
isn't being Elvira, she pretends to be the actress and model Cassandra Peterson, of The
Working Girls (1974 / trailer below) and a lot of nude photographs featuring
something called pubic hair…
Trailer
to
The Working Girls (1974):
This month's "short film" originally ran as part of Elivra's 2010 Christmas
screening of the perennial Christmas movie anti-classic, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964 / trailer / full film), from
director Nicholas Webster (24 July 1912 – 12 Aug 2006), whose other treasured cinematic
anti-classic is the somewhat less wonderfully dreadful science fiction film Mission Mars (1968 / trailer).
But to return
to Webster's Santa Claus, that disasterpiece
not only features the first known cinematic appearance of Mrs. Claus (played by
Doris Rich [14 Aug 1901 – Feb 1980], it also
features the cinematic debut of that
American cultural treasure known as Pia Zadora (of Fake Out a.k.a. Nevada Heat
[1982 / trailer]) playing
the little Martian lass named Girmar. ["In 2000, Zadora was nominated at
the 20th Golden Raspberry Awards as Worst Actress of the Century, ultimately
losing to Madonna." (Wikipedia)]
Pia Zadora & Jermaine Jackson (who?) —
When
the Rain Begins to Fall (1983)
Bloody
Disgusting points out that the wonderful little short way above is a Chiodo
Bros. Production. "The Chiodo Brothers (Stephen,
Charles & Edward Chiodo) are an American trio of sibling special
effects artists specializing in clay modeling, creature creation, stop motion
and animatronics. [Wikipedia]" Occasionally
they also produce their own movies, with Stephen as the credited director: they
are the creative power behind that classic cult film that is Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988 / trailer) — for a long
time a sequel, entitled The Return of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space in 3D, was trapped
in pre-production hell, but it officially died when Disney took over 21st
Century Fox — and the super kiddy-friendly, 40-min Christmas toddler flick at Netfux known as Alien Xmas (2020 / trailer). They also
produced the following short for an episode of a popular TV series…
Oh Pruny Night
For
further Christmas fun, check out these other season-themed Short Films of the Month:
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